Ok class, who remembers that talk we had a few months ago about a
roller coaster and how it represents life? You know how sometimes when
you're on one and everything is going so fast and you think your coming
to the end but it actually is a secondary hill that you slowly begin to
click back up one notch at a time?
Well that's just where we are right now. Oooo the suspense.
There
is some over lap to this post and when we last posted the whole story
about the failed adoption. I will do my best to keep all the timelines
straight.
The day after we found out we were not going
to be taking a baby home I emailed our agency just to kind of see what
happens next. This was uncharted and unplanned territory. She wrote back
and gave her condolences and told me that they would figure out any
financial ramifications that we needed to know of, but in the mean time
they had two other situations that they were taking profiles for and
that we could toss ours onto the stack. That was a very strange thing to
hear. We had been planning for the past couple month and suddenly we
were back at the beginning and being told we could just apply to new
situations.
I thought it would be helpful to apply just
to feel like we were actively trying to move forward. Erin was unsure.
Even though we went into the process not having a preference about a boy
or girl, we had spent 3 months planning on a girl so Erin decided that
for right now we might only apply for situations that the baby was
female. Neither of us really had any thoughts that this would go any
further than us applying then getting back to our grieving. We decided
that one of the situations raised some concern for us but the second
seemed steady, we wrote back and said they could put us in for that
situation. They we're scheduled to meet with the family on the coming
Sunday. 4 days after our supposed to baby was born.
The
next week, which was the week before Christmas (for those trying to
timeline), we got an email while at dinner. It was pretty short and
simple but said that the family had decided to as 5 adoptive families
the same questions and we were on that list. Honestly, we were a little
shocked to have even heard back from them. That night we sat down and
answered them as honestly as we could and sent the email off. They
weren't overly long answers but we were as straight forward as we could
be. One thing we've learned is that this process is an all cards on the
table kind of thing.
We planned a little mini trip to
Toronto over Christmas just to get away for a bit and that was coming up
the following Monday. I have a group of friends that I run with
Saturday mornings, the 28th was my week to plan it. So everyone showed
up, we knocked out 5 miles (I need to get back into shape BTW) and then
they all took off. Erin was at work until about 1 so I was just hanging
around the house until then, we had plans to go to diner with my family
that night for a little pre-Christmas meal since we wouldn't be around
on the actual day.
About 12:45 I got a phone call, from the agency.
They
were calling to let me know that this family really liked us a lot and
wanted to set a meeting to talk with us, but they wanted the agency to
ask us before Christmas so that they could have a bit of piece of mind
going into the holidays. I was in shock. We had not considered that this
would even be a possibility, but we had a meeting set for Dec 30 at our
agency in Medina. Erin got home right as I hung up with the agency.
To
say that there were mixed feelings about another potential match would
be an understatement. Two weeks before we were planning on a baby being
at our house for Christmas, now three days before we're being contacted
about potentially being matched with other baby. Remember the roller
coaster? Ya, were in it.
On the 30th we all met at the
agency and talked for about 45 minutes. We found out that they were not
scheduled to meet with anyone else either. Both parents are involved in
this situation so that was a big change from the last time. Everything
seemed to go pretty well. I can't really explain how these meetings
actually feel, those that have been in them know exactly what I mean,
but they're a little awkward. Strangers meeting for the first time
essentially interviewing to be the parents to someone else's unborn
child. Its just simply weird. On New Years day we got a text from the
agency that they would like to meet with us one more time to get to know
us a little more. So that meeting was set for the 7th, or this past
Tuesday for those reading in the present.
This time the
meeting was at a coffee shop with no social worker present, just a
neutral location for 4 people to sit down together and talk about life,
babies, hobbies and just regular stuff. We ended up sitting together for
two hours and basically closed out the shop. We left that meeting
feeling much better and having a much better connection to them.
It
turns out that they felt exactly the same way, because 10 minutes after
we left we got a message from the agency telling us that they were
absolutely choosing us as their adoptive family.
We are matched...again.
We are having a girl...again.
And that baby is due March 14th.
This
situation is 100% different already, the attitudes towards the plan are
far more positive then negative, where everyone is in life is different
and the involvement is totally different. The whole situation is just
different.
Last night we drove up to Westlake to take a
hospital orientation / birth class with them. Their belief is that we
should be as involved and included in the early stages so that we can
experience everything leading up to her birth, and that way when shes
asks questions later in life we can give her real, solid answers. This
has always been Erin and I's hope but I don't think its all that common.
We really want a relationship with them so that we can tell the baby
about them one day, so that she can know that there were 4 people who
came together to love her and do the best thing possible for her. And
right now it seems like that might actually happen for us.
So
were back on the ride, maybe we never really got off. Now hopefully in
the next 9 weeks the train pulls calmly back into the station and we can
hop onto the next ride of becoming parents. I'm sure there will be more
bumps, but hopefully we've hit all the major ones at this point.
Until next time.
Away we go,
Adam & Erin
