This is not a feel good story. It does in fact have a happy ending, however it just isn't written yet. It will though, soon rather than later.
When we decided to do this bog in conjunction with the adoption we agreed that we would share everything about our process. Partially because its a confusing thing that most people simply just don't understand but also to help others out who might be considering taking a journey down this road. With this decision comes a lot of happy and exciting tales but unfortunately also comes with a lot of potential heartache, for all kinds of different reasons.
We both felt that this was an important story to tell even if its a hard one to tell. The day the baby was born was going to be bitter sweet no matter what the outcome. Either we were going to be taking a child away from their mother and she would have to live with that the rest of her life, or she would decide to keep her baby with her and we would be left on the outside looking in. Unfortunately the latter would hold true this time around.
On December 10th, my phone rang in the afternoon. It was Erin, the agency had just called her and told her our birth mother was headed to the hospital, she was having some contractions. At this point she didn't think the baby was actually on the way so we were told to just hang out and wait to see if the hospital admitted her and then it would be determined if we should grab our stuff and head to Dayton. Once I got home we decided that we would get everything packed up and ready to go in case we received word that she would be staying in the hospital and that this was all about to go down.
All evening and into the night we were in contact with the agency and with our birth mother, we had really formed a good relationship with her and usually talked to her a couple times a week via text messages, so at no point did we really feel out of the loop. She told us that she didn't think it was actually happening that night and to just stay home. We will never really know if that was actually the case or just step one in her reconsideration. Frankly it doesn't really even matter. So we went to bed wondering what was going to happen and if we would get a phone call in the middle of the night that would send us on a 3.5 hour drive down to Dayton.
The next morning we still had received no further word so we just went on as normal. We actually didn't even know if they had admitted her or not, they still had not as of about 11:30 the night before.
While on the way into work my phone rang again. It was Erin and she said that she just heard from Denise and that she had had the baby in the night, but had not contacted the agency yet, she told us that is usually not a good sign. I sat around in a daze for the next half hour or so at work until Erin called back.
The agency had talked to her and she was going to keep the baby. I'm not really sure what emotions I felt at that moment; mostly shock, disappointment and sadness I think, but not anger.
The agency gave Erin our birth mother's direct line at the hospital and encouraged her to call her, they do a pretty good job at holding the mothers accountable for their choices. This is how I know that Erin is a stronger person than I am, because there is no way I could have made that call.
It was a pretty short phone call. There were tears on both sides. She reassured Erin that this was never her plan but that it had all happened so fast and that once it did she just couldn't go through with it. Before anyone can judge her actions, just ask yourself if you could have a baby then immediately give it away to someone else and potentially never see them again. Neither of us ever could no matter what, so we understood. It hurt, bad, but we got it. She had been a large part of our life for three months and we had formed a pretty good bond so Erin also just wanted to say goodbye to her as well.
We'll never know what actually went on in her mind at the hospital that night or through her mind in the days before or after, but there also isn't anything we can do about it. When we decided to do this the secondary motivation was to be able to help out someone who was going through a rough patch in life.
Our friend Rob sent Erin a text a few days after and said that our actions have lasting results, it might be years down the road and we may never even know about it, but everything we do has a lingering effect, it was maybe the most comforting thing that we heard. And he's right we may never know the results, but we may have been the only people in her life telling her we were proud of her,that she was a good mother and that she can be successful. Maybe those simple encouragements will give her the confidence she needs to get on a successful path through life. Maybe we were put in her life to help her through her darkest times. We will never know, but if it is the case hopefully we will be rewarded for the struggles that we had to go through as a result.
Its been a rough couple of weeks, for me it sunk in right away, for Erin it took a week to really hit her. We decided that we just needed to get away and not be home for Christmas, mostly just because it was not going to be the Christmas it was supposed to be. Our families supported us, even though we know they didn't like it. We just got home from a nice 4 days in Canada. It was good to be with each other and having some fun without our phones even being on. No matter what happens we still have each other and we still live a great life. One day, hopefully soon, we will be able to share that life with our child.
That's it for now, hopefully more updates soon.
Hopefully only happy ones. I'm tired or writing sad stories. Thanks to everyone who has supported us all along the way and especially in the past couple weeks. 2013 can take a hike, on to better things in 2014!
Love wins,
Adam & Erin
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
The wrong call
This will be short.
The baby was born last night, we knew our birth mother went to the hospital. But the updates ran dry. This morning we found out she was born in the night, but then we also found out she was going to parent the baby.
I don't really have anything else to say right now, there really isn't anything else to say honestly. That is that and we will get past it and move on. We're still committed to this plan, but we honestly didn't see this coming.
That's all for now.
Adam & Erin
The baby was born last night, we knew our birth mother went to the hospital. But the updates ran dry. This morning we found out she was born in the night, but then we also found out she was going to parent the baby.
I don't really have anything else to say right now, there really isn't anything else to say honestly. That is that and we will get past it and move on. We're still committed to this plan, but we honestly didn't see this coming.
That's all for now.
Adam & Erin
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
A few more clicks on the roller coaster.
Well its been a little bit since the last update, maybe too
long, but we’re busy so what are you gonna do? We are currently in our last
“safe” week at the Buttacavoli casa. As I type we are sitting at 37 weeks 0
Days. Which means that no one should be surprised if she shows up next week or
very soon after. That is terrifying.
So, last we talked we had just matched and were signing our
paperwork. Also going on in the background at this time was a surprise baby
shower for Erin, I suppose us, but mainly her since I was in the loop on this.
It was just a very happy coincidence that we happened to match about a week
before the shower, even though it had been months in planning.
In fact, the matching almost
threw a wrench into the plan. You see with matching comes payment. A very large
payment. The plan was to meet up with our friends Emily, Joel, Rick and Debbie
in Wooster to have dinner and have a couple glasses of wine at the wine bar
before hand. With mailing this monster of a check, left us all but broke as a
joke, Erin wanted to cancel the date since we didn’t have money. I managed to
talk her out of it.
Somehow, mostly with Erin being some kind of money hoarding
genius, we managed to come up with every last penny we should need for the rest
of the process. As we started to combine the accounts and add money from here
and there I said there was no way we had it all. We did, literally by $25.
Frankly its really nothing short of a miracle, its going to make things tight
around here for a while until we replenish the supplies but we did not have to
take any loans out. We also applied for a grant, that we should find out about
next week. We don’t have any real hopes for it, but it would be amazing if we
received it for sure.
The day of the shower comes and we’re supposed to arrive at
7, but I’ve been told to push it and arrive 15-20 minutes late to ensure
everyone makes it and it hidden away before our arrival. I can be slow if I
need to, very slow. Its about time to leave and I decide I need to iron my
shirt, I worried that this would throw up a red flag since this is an uncommon
event. We finally get on the road and gas happened to be extra cheap that day,
somewhere around $2.89ish, so what happened next? We stop to fill up.
Mission accomplished, I have made us 25 minutes late and
have annoyed Erin with my antics at the same time. Good thing it won’t last
long.
Once we arrive our friends are waiting for us with an open
bottle and a couple glasses. We talk for a second and Debbie tells Erin she
needs to see how they remodeled the party room. They open the door and Erin is
blown away by 25-30 of our closest friends and family.
She lost it. 100%. I was close, but I’m a man and I shoved
those emotions down into the abyss where they belong.
To say that she had no idea would be an understatement. She
just kept looking around in amazement and couldn’t even figure out how some of
these people even knew about it since there were a couple different social
circles present. This is when she learns that I’ve known about this for months
and that I’ve created our entire registry and helped with the guest list all
without her having a single clue. She doubts my powers of observation; I pay
more attention to her (and her Pinterest) than she thinks. Also the best part
of an adoptive baby shower, we can both drink wine since no one is actually
pregnant. Score.
The amount of gifts was just crazy, there’s no other way to
describe it. The only reason we are going to ready for her to arrive is because
of all the support from our friends and family that we’ve received. For that
there’s no way we can thank everyone enough.
Adding all the clothes and stuff we’ve received from Emily,
Holly, Nikki and Brandy-Mart, this little girls room is fully stocked up and
about 90% complete. Certainly enough to get her home.
 |
| Casa de Baby |
 |
| Erin is very proud of the doors. |
 |
| Maybe her middle name will be Ikea... |
Erin has been getting her nest on of late, and her car is already
packed up with all of the babies stuff we’ll need to bring with us for our as
yet undetermined length of stay in Dayton once she’s born. Which is good, because left to my own
I’m sure we would have 0.0% of this stuff ready.
We have been in communication with our birth mother pretty
regularly since she chose us, we text a couple times a week and have really
grown to respect and care for her a lot since our first meeting. We’ve found
that we have a lot in common actually and seem to have formed a pretty strong
bond, which long term we believe is the most healthy thing for us and our
unconventional family. We’re actually going down to have dinner with her on
Sunday so we can meet and chat one more time before the chaos of the birth all
goes down.
Looking back to May when we told our parents that we had
signed a contract to become adoptive parents we did not think that by the end
of the year we would have our baby, but that is exactly what looks to be
happening. It’s been a crazy ride so far and I think we are actually just a few
clicks from the top of the first hill on the rollercoaster. And in just a
matter of weeks we’re going to crest that hill and then it will get really
crazy. Who knows what the next update may hold. But please keep us in your thoughts in the meantime.
Away we go.
Adam & Erin
Monday, October 21, 2013
Advice from my friend Benjamin
A few weeks back my little friend Benjamin Beltz said to me
“Dendamin up down, up down”. I didn’t think that the time that those few words
from a two year old would hold such a prominent place in the past couple weeks
of our lives.
At last we spoke, I had left you
with the knowledge that we were approved as adoptive parents with a completed
home study and had applied to two different birth situations right out of the
gate. Well, things have been pretty crazy since then so I guess I will catch
you all up.
Along with this adoption we’ve
also been looking to replace our car, apparently the greater powers though it
would be fun for it all to need addressed at once. Brace yourselves because
this one could get long, but you won’t want to miss the surprise twist at the
end.
Did that give it away? Probably
not.
Ok, so when we left off it was
Sept 30 and we had been approved and applied to two birth mother situations. I
received an email three days later from our agency letting us know that the one
situation that we had been really hoping to hear from would like to meet us!
They set a meeting for the following Thursday the 10th at 7pm down
in Dayton. Cue a week of anxious nerves and some sleepless nights.
The night before we were
supposed to drive down to Dayton, I get a call from Erin at about 8:30. She was
at in home appointment in Akron and our car was dead to the world. Awesome. So
off to the shop the car was towed and a phone call to my mom was made to borrow
her car for the next day. Up down, up down.
Thursday afternoon rolls around
and we hit the road. Having not a single clue as what to expect but we were
off, in our borrowed car. We make it through Columbus, then all the way to
Huber Heights. As I’m on the phone with the shop about our car’s busted starter,
Erin get a text from the agency that the meeting may be cancelled. We got off
at the next exit and after some back and forth with the agency the decision was
made for us to go grab some dinner and give it some time. So the wait began.
Finally about 7:30ish we finally got a call that the meeting was in fact going
to be cancelled. Around we turned with a whole huge load of questions and
crushed emotions.
I won’t get in to the reasons
for the cancellation but to us it sounded like a legit excuse, but you really
just never know. However, by time we were back through Columbus on the way home
we had a rescheduled meeting for Sunday afternoon, back down in Dayton.
Ok, back to the car. Friday it’s
got a new windshield and a fresh new starter and we are ready to be rid of it.
Good thing because we had an appointment at 9am in Cleveland to check out the
new car and put a deposit down on it. No problem right? Wrong, someone clicked
Buy It Now on eBay the night before we were to look at it.
Long story short, we go up
anyway to look at two other cars, one of which was being sold just as we pulled
into the dealership. So we chose the other one. Car selection process done. Up
down, up down.
And now we’re back to Sunday and
our meeting. We headed out mid morning hoping that we would in fact actually be
able to have our meeting. That was a stressful ride, every time the phone made
a noise our stomachs fell to our feet. But we never got word of a cancellation.
We arrived a bit early so we walked around a couple stores to pass some time
and then headed over to the restaurant for the meeting. As we were pulling in
we got a call telling us that the meeting was on. Here we go.
Her social worker arrived first
and we talked for 10-15 minutes before our birth mother arrived. We really had
no idea what or who to expect. All we see is some very basic background info on
her, she receives the same for us. The point of the meeting is just to get to
know each other.
I’ll be honest, I think we both
expected someone a little less put together, if not for the simple reason that
they are clearly not in the best life circumstance if they are forced to choose
someone else to parent their child. This is not what we saw, she is a beautiful
and smart young woman who clearly has her act together but has simply come to a
very difficult crossroads in her life. We ended up chatting for almost an hour
and a half and when we left felt a huge bond to her. We talked a lot on the way
home and felt that her situation was simply perfect for us. It’s a weird and
kind of terrible feeling to hope that someone chooses to give up their child
and that you hope they pick you to give it too. Then again this whole process
is full new feelings all around. And generally a huge weight was lifted of our
shoulders. We loved her and the story about Thursday seemed to check out.
So with the meeting out of the
way we can now finalize this car situation. We had found our car, put a deposit
down and secured our financing. One thing left to do, sell the old car. Given that
we had a guaranteed price on it from Auto Trader that would be a simple
transaction right? Wrong. I’ll spare all the gory details but after a few days
going back and forth with a generally dishonest local dealership that shall
remain nameless (but it rhymes with Snake-Um) we were finally rid of the car
and have picked up Erin’s new ride. All is well on the car front. Up down, up
down.
Friday night, a little less than
a week has passed since our meeting and we haven’t received word on a decision
yet. We had got a couple messages along the way that she really liked us and
was still going to need the time to think about this choice a little more. Erin
stared to get very emotional about the whole process Friday evening. The
strange feeling of guilt that someone will have to give up their baby to make
us a family and that the happiest day of our lives will also be the absolute
worst day of theirs just became a little too much to process. Simple fact is that this is an entirely
different monster and no one that has not experienced it can never really know
what kind of feeling start to well up. But on we go.
Saturday morning was a rare one,
Erin was actually off work. We slept in and caught up on some of those
sleepless nights from the week before. I
eventually got up and decided I needed to go out for a run, I’ve been lacking
in that and have been paying for it each time I do drag myself out onto the
road. Who woulda knew that 2 weeks away post marathon would send you so far
back in your conditioning. Not me I guess.
As I’m coming back up our
street, finishing up my 6 miles, I see Erin out in the yard and I am confused.
She runs out into the street, at this point I have no idea what’s happening
other than I am sweaty, tired and my legs hurt. She pulled my headphones off
and said simply, “she picked us, we’re having a baby!”
Let me repeat that.
SHE PICKED US, WE’RE HAVING A
BABY!
Honestly, I had no idea what to
say or feel, so naturally I said the smoothest thing possible at that exact
special moment. “I can’t process this right now, I think I need to finish my
.12 miles.” And then I ran to the end of the street and back. I know, I’m
ridiculous. But I dare you to be able to understand what just happened when you
get news like that sprung on you the second you get back to your house. I could have done better, but that’s just not
me anyway…
We should have paper work today
to sign and become officially matched, but as of right now our daughter (yes,
it’s a girl!) is due to be born in just 63 days. Ya, just 2 months. But look at
the calendar and then those dates a little bit closer. She is due on Christmas
Eve!
The weight of all that has
happened really hasn’t fully hit either of us yet, but we will probably have
the greatest Christmas ever this year and we can not wait. And by some other
miracle, it seems like we actually have all of the money to pay our agency
without taking out a loan or borrowing from our retirement. We had honestly
planned on the match process taking 6ish months or more so we would really be
able to get our finances in order, but that just wasn’t in the cards. And yet
we are still able to have all we need, literally by $25. We are going to be
draining almost every cent of savings and emergency money we have, plus next
month’s grocery budget (so anyone who wants to take us to dinner, you know how
to get ahold of us, lol… but seriously, not really joking) but it’s there.
So go a head and say a prayer
for us that nothing big comes up before we can start to pay ourselves back,
while we say one to say thanks for us have just enough to cover what we need.
While you’re doing that, make sure to say one for our birth mother as well, our
great news is her crushing blow and she should not be forgotten in this at all.
I’m sure the updates should be
flowing from here on out, but right now baby Buttacavoli should make her
appearance on Christmas Eve, in just 2 short months.
Up down, up down, up.
Away we go,
Erin and Adam
Monday, September 30, 2013
Life's a marathon, but thats just the beginning...
The analogy the life is not a sprint but a marathon couldn't have rang more true this weekend.
Saturday was the 11th running of the Akron Marathon, and would also be the first (and probably last) full marathon that I would run. It was the final step in what would be the hardest month and a half of training that I went through this summer. Starting with a half marathon in mid-August, to a 20 miler, then the Oly Tri and a single week "rest" before the day came.
I generally don't get nervous before a race, I generally feel that I am trained up for it and am pretty confident in my abilities. This was not the case for the 26.2 mile race ahead of me. I was as trained as I could be but also had a time goal in my mind of sub 4 hours. I really didn't think it was going to be possible. This was absolutely going to be the toughest single event I would have put myself through.
4:30 in the morning comes extremely fast when you toss and turn all night. Erin and I got to Akron about 5:30 and met the group that I was running the race with and tried our best to get each other psyched up and ready to run for at least the next 4 hours. Eventually the time came, the national anthem was sang, a bell rang and 3 minutes later I was crossing the start line. Off we went.
To hit my goal I had to stay at a 9:00/mile pace. My strategy was to settle in around 8:30-45/mile for the first 16ish miles so when the climb out of the valley kicked in and my legs fell off I'd have a bit of a cushion. I missed seeing Erin around mile 3 (probably because I was soo fast), but I did see her at mile 8 and it put a smile on my face and kept me chugging along. After the half marathoners split from the group at 11 it got far less crowded quickly. Coming down a hill and making the turn onto the tow path I glanced over and saw Erin running right next to me. She had ran from to catch us on the turn to see us one more time before we disappeared for the next 14ish miles. Seeing her smile and getting to tell her I loved her before I headed into the worst part of the race was huge for me.
I had read that marathoners hit the line around mile 20, its when the
glycogen store in your muscles run out and you are straight up out of
stored energy. At mile 18 I was thinking to myself, "this isn't actually too bad, I might be enjoying this... I could totally do this again.
Fast forward to mile 20.5ish... It was like a switch was flipped, suddenly everything started to hurt, every slight grade change felt like everest. That line had found me. The last 10k of a marathon are truly a mental battle almost as much as a physical one. My pace dropped a bit but I knew I was still on target, I had built a 15 minute cushion at that point. About every mile past 22 my right calf would completely lock up forcing me to stop a stretch it out for a couple seconds. I just kept telling myself that there were always going to be harder points in life and that if I could power through this I could make it though whatever life tossed at me. The last stretch down Main St. towards Canal Park was the hardest run I've ever had, another cramp stopped my briefly but I was going to make it. When I turned into the stadium through the outfield and saw the time I knew I could crawl to the line and still beat my goal.
I crossed at 3:53:00. 8 minutes faster that my goal. There at the line I was met by my friend and one of my inspirations in the running world Brian, who also happens to be the race director. I was dead, and he was pumped for me, it really meant a lot to me to hear his congratulations and the quick hug before I headed down the line to claim my medal.
The next 2 days hurt. A lot. In fact, right now I am dreading having to walk down the stairs to hang out on the couch and then maybe even more having to walk back up them to get to bed. I have come to the conclusion that my marathon dreams are now complete. I did it, I achieved me goal and I won't have to do it again.
But maybe even bigger than that achievement was that we received an email this afternoon from the director at our agency. We have been approved! We can start to apply and try and match to a birth mother to get our baby. Actually we already applied to a situation. We heard about it a couple weeks ago and we interested then, but we not finalized yet. Last week we got word that she was requesting more profiles to review, meaning she had yet to match. I emailed our director and said we were interested and should be final any day now. Today the email asked if we would like to apply.
Erin and I looked at each other and just thought, this is actually happening. After what felt like forever we were actually tossing our hat into the ring to see if someone would choose us to parent their child.
To say it was a little surreal and overwhelming would be inaccurate. It's probably the strangest and most exciting feeling we've ever felt. We have no idea when we'll find out if we've been chosen or not but either way, we can actually make out the finish line out there in the distance. There will be cramps that will put us on the side of the road before we cross the line, it will hurt, we will want to give up. But just like the post race pain, in time we will forget about that and just remember the glory at the end and that baby will be worth all that 10 fold.
We can see the line and we will finish but instead of a medal and mylar blanket, it will be our baby and the rest of our lives. Now to just keep one foot in front of the other and keep on pushing.
Love wins,
Erin & Adam
Saturday was the 11th running of the Akron Marathon, and would also be the first (and probably last) full marathon that I would run. It was the final step in what would be the hardest month and a half of training that I went through this summer. Starting with a half marathon in mid-August, to a 20 miler, then the Oly Tri and a single week "rest" before the day came.
I generally don't get nervous before a race, I generally feel that I am trained up for it and am pretty confident in my abilities. This was not the case for the 26.2 mile race ahead of me. I was as trained as I could be but also had a time goal in my mind of sub 4 hours. I really didn't think it was going to be possible. This was absolutely going to be the toughest single event I would have put myself through.
4:30 in the morning comes extremely fast when you toss and turn all night. Erin and I got to Akron about 5:30 and met the group that I was running the race with and tried our best to get each other psyched up and ready to run for at least the next 4 hours. Eventually the time came, the national anthem was sang, a bell rang and 3 minutes later I was crossing the start line. Off we went.
 |
| 5:30 happy faces before the pain. |
To hit my goal I had to stay at a 9:00/mile pace. My strategy was to settle in around 8:30-45/mile for the first 16ish miles so when the climb out of the valley kicked in and my legs fell off I'd have a bit of a cushion. I missed seeing Erin around mile 3 (probably because I was soo fast), but I did see her at mile 8 and it put a smile on my face and kept me chugging along. After the half marathoners split from the group at 11 it got far less crowded quickly. Coming down a hill and making the turn onto the tow path I glanced over and saw Erin running right next to me. She had ran from to catch us on the turn to see us one more time before we disappeared for the next 14ish miles. Seeing her smile and getting to tell her I loved her before I headed into the worst part of the race was huge for me.
 |
| Mile 12, still feeling strong. |
Fast forward to mile 20.5ish... It was like a switch was flipped, suddenly everything started to hurt, every slight grade change felt like everest. That line had found me. The last 10k of a marathon are truly a mental battle almost as much as a physical one. My pace dropped a bit but I knew I was still on target, I had built a 15 minute cushion at that point. About every mile past 22 my right calf would completely lock up forcing me to stop a stretch it out for a couple seconds. I just kept telling myself that there were always going to be harder points in life and that if I could power through this I could make it though whatever life tossed at me. The last stretch down Main St. towards Canal Park was the hardest run I've ever had, another cramp stopped my briefly but I was going to make it. When I turned into the stadium through the outfield and saw the time I knew I could crawl to the line and still beat my goal.
I crossed at 3:53:00. 8 minutes faster that my goal. There at the line I was met by my friend and one of my inspirations in the running world Brian, who also happens to be the race director. I was dead, and he was pumped for me, it really meant a lot to me to hear his congratulations and the quick hug before I headed down the line to claim my medal.
The next 2 days hurt. A lot. In fact, right now I am dreading having to walk down the stairs to hang out on the couch and then maybe even more having to walk back up them to get to bed. I have come to the conclusion that my marathon dreams are now complete. I did it, I achieved me goal and I won't have to do it again.
But maybe even bigger than that achievement was that we received an email this afternoon from the director at our agency. We have been approved! We can start to apply and try and match to a birth mother to get our baby. Actually we already applied to a situation. We heard about it a couple weeks ago and we interested then, but we not finalized yet. Last week we got word that she was requesting more profiles to review, meaning she had yet to match. I emailed our director and said we were interested and should be final any day now. Today the email asked if we would like to apply.
Erin and I looked at each other and just thought, this is actually happening. After what felt like forever we were actually tossing our hat into the ring to see if someone would choose us to parent their child.
To say it was a little surreal and overwhelming would be inaccurate. It's probably the strangest and most exciting feeling we've ever felt. We have no idea when we'll find out if we've been chosen or not but either way, we can actually make out the finish line out there in the distance. There will be cramps that will put us on the side of the road before we cross the line, it will hurt, we will want to give up. But just like the post race pain, in time we will forget about that and just remember the glory at the end and that baby will be worth all that 10 fold.
We can see the line and we will finish but instead of a medal and mylar blanket, it will be our baby and the rest of our lives. Now to just keep one foot in front of the other and keep on pushing.
Love wins,
Erin & Adam
Monday, September 16, 2013
Race Weekend Recap
This post will be a bit different than the others, mainly because there are no real updates in the adoption process, but I did want to give everyone an update on how the race went this weekend.
The Oly Tri at Portage Lakes was Sunday morning, but as it happens my favorite local 5k race of the year (Smucker's Applebutter Run) happened to fall on the morning of the 14th. The day before my main race of the year. Now a little back story on why this race is awesome. Its the breakfast, a full and massive Smucker's sponsored breakfast feast, complete with as many Uncrustables as one can eat. Its breathtaking, but I digress.
I had chosen last minute to skip it due to some other people schedule conflicts, but I got a text from my brother saying he had already registered. I signed up the next day. Last year I was able to take 1st in my age group, so I went into this with a little bird telling me I needed to repeat my title. I HAD planned on an easy run, but as it were when everyone else started going I just couldn't hold it back. In the end I had hit my year goal of breaking a 21 minute 5k by 12 seconds and was able to take 1st in my group once again. An added bonus was beating Matt, however he also managed 3rd place in his slightly more competitive group. So it turned out to be a great day. I just hoped that didn't come back to bite me in the legs the next morning.
On to the Tri.
Pre Race:
The 5:30 am alarm came far to quickly. I gathered all my stuff, loaded the bike up, filled my bottles and made an english muffin for myself and was out the door a little after 6. I got to the park a bit before 6:30 and it was already starting to get pretty crowded. I got checked in and body marked, figured out where my partner in crime Bryce was and then got my transition all set up, squeezed into my wetsuit and headed down to the beach to await our wave start.
The Swim:
There were two other races set to start before the Olympic races so we stood around the beach for about a half hour trying not to let our nerves get to us. Bryce and I had hopped in the water to get the dreaded "cold water seeping into the wetsuit" experience over with and then they finally got to our waves. We had thought we'd be in the same wave, but they announced the first wave would be male 20-29 and everyone registered as Elite. Great now I have to start with all the speed demons, this should be fun. Bryce would start in the next wave. My team mate and swimming partner Lisa was there to give me a quick pep talk before I got in the water. She simply said "Adam, do not go out too fast and do not race those people, just swim like its another Tuesday afternoon." It helped and that's just what I did. Ran into the water at 8:24 am, water was about 72 degrees and outside it was maybe close to 60. Made for a nice swim though, especially with the wetsuit. Heeding Lisa's coaching tips, I did not try and race those people and good thing, because before I knew it they were way out in front. I passed a couple people and was passed by way more. I could have helped my time a bit by doing a better job of sighting on the first loop and not drifting out of line a bit but all in all I was pretty much on the pace I anticipated. I was quite happy to see those yellow exit buoys on the second loop though. 1500m (.93mile) Swim Time: 34:14.
The Bike:
I felt good coming out of the water, unlike my first race of the year, when I felt like I was dying after just a 400m swim. This pleased me. My transition was a bit slower than I'd like, but peeling a wetsuit off is just not that quick of a task. 3 minutes later I was on the bike heading out of the park. I did see Bryce running down the aisle to his bike just as I was headed out, this turned into a theme for the remainder of the race.
Bryce and I had rode the course a couple of times, so I knew the pain that was ahead of me. This was almost nothing but hills, with at least 5 true grinding climbs, 4 of which we had to do twice due to the looped course. I made up some time and passed a number of people some in my race and some who were on the tail end of the Sprint race. I got passed up by a few faster riders from the later waves but I expected that. Possibly the best part of the ride was when I finally got to eat one of the Uncrustables I snagged from the previous day's event at the start of the second loop of the course. It was delicious. I gave one to Bryce too, but he ate it before the race even began, amateur. About 20ish miles in my lower back really started to tighten up, I tried to stretch it out a bit but didn't seem to help much. I was just thankful to be almost off the bike and that it didn't happen earlier.
Actually I lied earlier, the best part of the bike was when I was climbing the last hill I was talking to another racer about how much we were over these hills. I told him that I thought there was only one more after this one. I was wrong, and that was the last climb. From there it was a flat to downhill 2 miles back to the park and into transition, I was never happier to be wrong. And with that I was back into transition racking my bike and pulling on the trusty ol running shoes. 40k (25mile) Bike: 1:22:52.
The Run:
I need to work on transitioning. I spend too much time, but I'll get there. 1:46 minutes after parking the bike I was out for the run, the last stage of the race. I knew it was a different course than previous years, but I really had no idea what to expect. Erin was waiting for me as I turned on to the run course. It was really great to see her there cheering me on. I had saw her briefly after coming out of the water and she was across the fence when I transitioned onto the bike, but this time it was just the little bit of extra motivation I needed before the final leg. Again I saw Bryce coming in as I was going out. Theme continues.
My back was still pretty tight from the bike, again I tried to stretch
it out but nothing really helped. It basically stayed that way the
remainder of the race.
The run essentially started with a steady up hill for the first 1 1/4 miles or so, it was unpleasant. And It was a double loop course, so we would meet again. After that it jumped onto the trail, I wasn't really prepared for that, I'm definitely more of a road runner than a trail runner but it was a nice change, although you really had to pay attention so you didn't bite it on a large root. Or on one of the wood bridges I had to jump on and off of, or the little mud pool that you needed to leap over. All in all it was pretty fun. While making the loop back I saw Bryce on the other side and he yelled out at me "Hey, thanks for the warning on the trail running", I gave him a thumbs down and set off to finish the second loop.
While on the trails I spotted someone ahead of me. I always do that in races, they're my person to beat. I managed to catch up to him coming out of the trails and he appeared to be onto my strategy. I didn't think I'd get him but he ended up pulling up and having a bit of dry-heave setbacks just before the finish stretch. After he came up to me and said "I was trying to keep you behind me, but I just had nothing left", I asked if he was alright and we shook hands and congratulated each other on a great race. That's the best thing about this sport. 10k (6.2mile) Run: 55:12.
When I crossed the line and got my medal and water, Erin was waiting right next to the fence with the biggest smile on her face. I could tell she was proud and that made me forget all about the soreness starting to creep into my body. About 30 seconds later Bryce crossed the line too. We did it. The race was over and we we're pretty sure we both finished under our goal time of 3 hours. Bryce beat me by 20 seconds in the overall time, this is why I need faster transitions. Final race time 2:57:23.
I'm so thankful for all the support from everyone through out the season. My teammates from Vertical Runner; specifically Lisa, John, Jim, Sarah, Chantell, Dave and Becky for the inspiration and drive to keep at it. The goal is to finish an Ironman 70.3 with some of these fine folks next year! Bryce, for being a great new friend this year and a pretty good training buddy, I may be a bit bitter since it's the first time I haven't beat him, lol. I hope we keep this train rolling and see what we'll conquer next.
But most importantly, my amazing wife for putting up with the hours upon hours of training I had to put in to do this. Never once did she complain and was always one of the most encouraging voices in my corner. I couldn't be more lucky to have her by my side. I can only imagine how blessed our kid will be to have a mom like her. There is nothing that they won't believe they can accomplish with Erin as their mom.
I guess thats it, a great end to the Tri season. Back at it next year. Thanks for taking time to read this novel everyone.
Oh ya, I have a marathon to run in less than two weeks... Yikes.
Love Wins,
Adam
The Oly Tri at Portage Lakes was Sunday morning, but as it happens my favorite local 5k race of the year (Smucker's Applebutter Run) happened to fall on the morning of the 14th. The day before my main race of the year. Now a little back story on why this race is awesome. Its the breakfast, a full and massive Smucker's sponsored breakfast feast, complete with as many Uncrustables as one can eat. Its breathtaking, but I digress.
I had chosen last minute to skip it due to some other people schedule conflicts, but I got a text from my brother saying he had already registered. I signed up the next day. Last year I was able to take 1st in my age group, so I went into this with a little bird telling me I needed to repeat my title. I HAD planned on an easy run, but as it were when everyone else started going I just couldn't hold it back. In the end I had hit my year goal of breaking a 21 minute 5k by 12 seconds and was able to take 1st in my group once again. An added bonus was beating Matt, however he also managed 3rd place in his slightly more competitive group. So it turned out to be a great day. I just hoped that didn't come back to bite me in the legs the next morning.
 |
| Buttacavoli: From the Italian, Destroyers of Running. |
On to the Tri.
 |
| Portage Lakes Pre race |
Pre Race:
The 5:30 am alarm came far to quickly. I gathered all my stuff, loaded the bike up, filled my bottles and made an english muffin for myself and was out the door a little after 6. I got to the park a bit before 6:30 and it was already starting to get pretty crowded. I got checked in and body marked, figured out where my partner in crime Bryce was and then got my transition all set up, squeezed into my wetsuit and headed down to the beach to await our wave start.
 |
| Thats me in the yellow cap and Lisa telling me how to not blow the race from the start. |
There were two other races set to start before the Olympic races so we stood around the beach for about a half hour trying not to let our nerves get to us. Bryce and I had hopped in the water to get the dreaded "cold water seeping into the wetsuit" experience over with and then they finally got to our waves. We had thought we'd be in the same wave, but they announced the first wave would be male 20-29 and everyone registered as Elite. Great now I have to start with all the speed demons, this should be fun. Bryce would start in the next wave. My team mate and swimming partner Lisa was there to give me a quick pep talk before I got in the water. She simply said "Adam, do not go out too fast and do not race those people, just swim like its another Tuesday afternoon." It helped and that's just what I did. Ran into the water at 8:24 am, water was about 72 degrees and outside it was maybe close to 60. Made for a nice swim though, especially with the wetsuit. Heeding Lisa's coaching tips, I did not try and race those people and good thing, because before I knew it they were way out in front. I passed a couple people and was passed by way more. I could have helped my time a bit by doing a better job of sighting on the first loop and not drifting out of line a bit but all in all I was pretty much on the pace I anticipated. I was quite happy to see those yellow exit buoys on the second loop though. 1500m (.93mile) Swim Time: 34:14.
 |
| Hello land, I've missed you. |
I felt good coming out of the water, unlike my first race of the year, when I felt like I was dying after just a 400m swim. This pleased me. My transition was a bit slower than I'd like, but peeling a wetsuit off is just not that quick of a task. 3 minutes later I was on the bike heading out of the park. I did see Bryce running down the aisle to his bike just as I was headed out, this turned into a theme for the remainder of the race.
 |
| Wetsuit off, helmet on, off I go. |
Actually I lied earlier, the best part of the bike was when I was climbing the last hill I was talking to another racer about how much we were over these hills. I told him that I thought there was only one more after this one. I was wrong, and that was the last climb. From there it was a flat to downhill 2 miles back to the park and into transition, I was never happier to be wrong. And with that I was back into transition racking my bike and pulling on the trusty ol running shoes. 40k (25mile) Bike: 1:22:52.
 |
| I'm surprised the camera was even able to catch such a burst of lightning. |
I need to work on transitioning. I spend too much time, but I'll get there. 1:46 minutes after parking the bike I was out for the run, the last stage of the race. I knew it was a different course than previous years, but I really had no idea what to expect. Erin was waiting for me as I turned on to the run course. It was really great to see her there cheering me on. I had saw her briefly after coming out of the water and she was across the fence when I transitioned onto the bike, but this time it was just the little bit of extra motivation I needed before the final leg. Again I saw Bryce coming in as I was going out. Theme continues.
 | ||
| This is what happens when you've been racing for 2 hours and you see your smiling wife. Fabulousness. |
The run essentially started with a steady up hill for the first 1 1/4 miles or so, it was unpleasant. And It was a double loop course, so we would meet again. After that it jumped onto the trail, I wasn't really prepared for that, I'm definitely more of a road runner than a trail runner but it was a nice change, although you really had to pay attention so you didn't bite it on a large root. Or on one of the wood bridges I had to jump on and off of, or the little mud pool that you needed to leap over. All in all it was pretty fun. While making the loop back I saw Bryce on the other side and he yelled out at me "Hey, thanks for the warning on the trail running", I gave him a thumbs down and set off to finish the second loop.
While on the trails I spotted someone ahead of me. I always do that in races, they're my person to beat. I managed to catch up to him coming out of the trails and he appeared to be onto my strategy. I didn't think I'd get him but he ended up pulling up and having a bit of dry-heave setbacks just before the finish stretch. After he came up to me and said "I was trying to keep you behind me, but I just had nothing left", I asked if he was alright and we shook hands and congratulated each other on a great race. That's the best thing about this sport. 10k (6.2mile) Run: 55:12.
 |
| Bryce and I all finished up! |
 |
| Adam minus energy... |
I'm so thankful for all the support from everyone through out the season. My teammates from Vertical Runner; specifically Lisa, John, Jim, Sarah, Chantell, Dave and Becky for the inspiration and drive to keep at it. The goal is to finish an Ironman 70.3 with some of these fine folks next year! Bryce, for being a great new friend this year and a pretty good training buddy, I may be a bit bitter since it's the first time I haven't beat him, lol. I hope we keep this train rolling and see what we'll conquer next.
But most importantly, my amazing wife for putting up with the hours upon hours of training I had to put in to do this. Never once did she complain and was always one of the most encouraging voices in my corner. I couldn't be more lucky to have her by my side. I can only imagine how blessed our kid will be to have a mom like her. There is nothing that they won't believe they can accomplish with Erin as their mom.
I guess thats it, a great end to the Tri season. Back at it next year. Thanks for taking time to read this novel everyone.
Oh ya, I have a marathon to run in less than two weeks... Yikes.
Love Wins,
Adam
Monday, September 9, 2013
A Calm before the Storm?
If the saying "there's always a calm before the storm" were to apply to our adoption plans then I guess that's maybe what you could call this week. However if this is the calm we are in for one crazy ride ahead.
Yesterday morning we had our final visit with our social worker to wrap up our home-study. We should receive the final copy of it by the end of the week. It seems kind of surreal that we're actually done with the administrative part, or at least for the most part, of the process and the next step is actually applying to birth-mothers to be matched and get our baby. We've been looking forward to this point for so long now it seems almost surreal that we're actually just about here. It's so exciting to know that finally these situations we get emailed about weekly we'll actually be able to apply for. Its also really weird to think that our child may very well already be growing as I sit here and type out this post. Surreal is really the only word that can be used to describe this process.
We still have a couple things left to do on our end before we can start the matching process. We have been a little slack on assembling our parent profile but we will crank that out this week too. And we still have to secure our loan for the remaining balance for the adoption, however we can't do that until we have a completed home-study. So that's another thing to figure out this week. Then there's just one other small thing this week, the triathlon. See what I mean about if this is the calm, I'm not sure if I want to see the storm?
I'm anticipating a good race, so far the weather looks pretty favorable and I'm as trained up as I can be so there's really nothing more that I can do on my part for the race. Frankly, I'm super happy to get a break on the Akron Marathon training and get in some good swim, bike, run time and not have to put in another 20 mile run, but that's a different story for another time.
The fundraising has been even better than we could have ever imagined. When we finally decided to actually put ourselves out there and ask for help we really didn't expect such generous donations. No amount is too small, we are just as thankful for the $5 ones as we are for larger gifts. It's all just helping us achieve our dream of having our own family. For that there is no thank you enough. So far we've received over $800! We are so thankful for every penny, it's more helpful than any of you could ever imagine.
I believe that's it for now. Thanks for all of your support thus far in our journey. We will probably need it more than ever in the next few weeks as we really crank into this thing. Anyone wanting to cheer me on in the Tri, or at the very least watch me suffer a bit, feel free to come out to the Portage Lakes State park off 93 sunday morning. I think the park road closes around 7 so get there by then to make sure you get a spot to watch! Erin will be there with a small wife contingent cheering us on, come keep her company!
Thanks again everyone!
Love wins,
Adam & Erin
www.youcaring.com/buttacavoli
Yesterday morning we had our final visit with our social worker to wrap up our home-study. We should receive the final copy of it by the end of the week. It seems kind of surreal that we're actually done with the administrative part, or at least for the most part, of the process and the next step is actually applying to birth-mothers to be matched and get our baby. We've been looking forward to this point for so long now it seems almost surreal that we're actually just about here. It's so exciting to know that finally these situations we get emailed about weekly we'll actually be able to apply for. Its also really weird to think that our child may very well already be growing as I sit here and type out this post. Surreal is really the only word that can be used to describe this process.
We still have a couple things left to do on our end before we can start the matching process. We have been a little slack on assembling our parent profile but we will crank that out this week too. And we still have to secure our loan for the remaining balance for the adoption, however we can't do that until we have a completed home-study. So that's another thing to figure out this week. Then there's just one other small thing this week, the triathlon. See what I mean about if this is the calm, I'm not sure if I want to see the storm?
I'm anticipating a good race, so far the weather looks pretty favorable and I'm as trained up as I can be so there's really nothing more that I can do on my part for the race. Frankly, I'm super happy to get a break on the Akron Marathon training and get in some good swim, bike, run time and not have to put in another 20 mile run, but that's a different story for another time.
The fundraising has been even better than we could have ever imagined. When we finally decided to actually put ourselves out there and ask for help we really didn't expect such generous donations. No amount is too small, we are just as thankful for the $5 ones as we are for larger gifts. It's all just helping us achieve our dream of having our own family. For that there is no thank you enough. So far we've received over $800! We are so thankful for every penny, it's more helpful than any of you could ever imagine.
I believe that's it for now. Thanks for all of your support thus far in our journey. We will probably need it more than ever in the next few weeks as we really crank into this thing. Anyone wanting to cheer me on in the Tri, or at the very least watch me suffer a bit, feel free to come out to the Portage Lakes State park off 93 sunday morning. I think the park road closes around 7 so get there by then to make sure you get a spot to watch! Erin will be there with a small wife contingent cheering us on, come keep her company!
Thanks again everyone!
Love wins,
Adam & Erin
www.youcaring.com/buttacavoli
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
One foot in front of the other
For this post I thought I'd give a little update on how the training was going for the races I'm going to be running in September in order to hopefully raise a bit of money for the adoption process.
But first a quick update on the adoption process for us. This weekend we were supposed to have our last home visit, but our worker needed to reschedule it so that will be put off another week or so, no big deal. We will use the extra time to finish up that huge stack of papers on our dining room table.
First up this week was to finish all of our pre-service training in preparation for our formerly scheduled meeting on Sunday. A lot of readings and a "fun" online class later we're all wrapped up, and I can't say I'll miss a second of it. After that it was on to visit the doctor to have him fill out a form for us saying that in his opinion we were medically sound both physically and mentally to raise a child. Boom! Fooled him, I'm just a step above an adolescent mentally, and my wife might say that more times than not its like she already has a kid around the house to take care of. But he already signed the form and there are no take backs! Last on the list of must-do's this week was to head over to the DMV office for a FBI & BCI fingerprint background check to make sure we have no past secret lives that might disqualify us as parents.
I know I will turn out just fine, I just hope I don't learn that my sweet and beautiful Erin used to be a cut-throat black market international ivory trader and panther smuggler or something along those lines that might set of some red flags. Guess time will tell.
Ok, now on to the training. I'm happy to say that its actually progressing quite nicely. I guess the best way is to cover sport by sport.
My swim has noticeably improved, which I am most excited about. When I started this journey into the world of triathlon I thought "hey I can run and I've been in a pool, swimming will be golden". That was false, I was horrible. However, after a few months things have really started to shape up, I can actually get a mile (1640m) in straight without a break and can actually do it under 45 minutes. This seemed totally out of the realm of possibilities in January, which worried me due to the cut off times for Iron and Half Ironman races, but thats not until next year ;). My week generally consists of one open water and one pool swim, but the Canton Nat is closed for cleaning right now so the early morning pool swim is out. I am not sad about this, I like sleeping. So every Tuesday evening you'll find me on the beach in my wetsuit at Portage Lakes with a few teammates and friends getting ready to put some time into the lake. However some new friends of mine have convinced me that another open water swim on Sunday mornings at sunrise are a good idea, it is not, yet I still go. More on them later.
I haven't had as much time on my bike of late as I would want, mainly due to this issue with it needing to rain nearly everyday or at least the set times that I would like to take it out and put some miles in. This coming weeks forecast however finally looks like it might lend some better results. I have been able to get in a couple 20 milers and a longer 36 mile ride a couple weeks ago and everything feels fine. I've been able to slowly start to creep up my average speed, which I credit mainly to the new bike rather than me. But I feel confident in it and don't have many concerns about that leg of the race, I'm looking forward to that one the most I think.
Lately my main focus has been on the run, mostly due to the next month and a half of my life. I am entering the first stage of what I have lovingly deemed The September Death March. This starts this Saturday with a half marathon, then continues 3 weeks later with the Oly Tri and ends two weeks after that with the Akron Marathon full course.
A couple months ago I met some great new guys, the a fore mentioned friends with the sunrise swim infatuation, and I joined up with them for Saturday morning runs. They are all apart of a team called Active:Water and are running the Akron half and full in order to raise money for their cause. It is a fantastic cause by the way, I'll include some links, I recommend checking them out. They have all be incredibly supportive in our journey so I decided to run the marathon with them to show my support for their cause. While I'm not an "official" member of their team, I'll be with them each step of the race, just like they all are with us during ours. Maybe one day I'll get a shirt so I can match too, my team's red gear clashes with their blue. Good thing I'm usually in front, ha.
Last Saturday I put in the longest run I've ever done, 16 miles. It was long and I hurt a bit the next day, but I did it. Many of you know Erin and I's journey to healthy living that started almost 2 years ago now. When I started then I had never been able to run a single mile before. Hitting 16 and knowing that I could still do more and I wasn't dead really meant a lot to me. Then, however I realized that I still needed to add 10 more miles to hit a marathon. Then I cried a little inside.
Last year my goal was to just finish a half marathon and not walk. I did it and surprised my self by finishing at 2:03. Saturday I will race the same race with my brother but this time trying to finish sub 8 minute miles in under 1:45. Also beating Matt will be worth it too!
We made up a little flyer that I'll attach to this post if you'd like to share it with anyone or have somewhere you'd like to hang it to help us spread the message that would be great. Otherwise positive thoughts and ice packs are more than enough. So lets start this march. I just figure an adoption is a hard long run, if I can do that, this silly little death march will just be a drop in the bucket.
Give this a click to download a pdf of our flyer.
Buttacavoli Adoption Fundraiser Flyer
Some links to take a look at:
Team Active:Water
https://activewater.myetap.org/fundraiser/Africa/team.do?participationRef=3357.0.187852860
Running 4 H2O
http://thomas-costello.blogspot.com/
Love wins,
Adam & Erin
http://www.youcaring.com/buttacavoli
But first a quick update on the adoption process for us. This weekend we were supposed to have our last home visit, but our worker needed to reschedule it so that will be put off another week or so, no big deal. We will use the extra time to finish up that huge stack of papers on our dining room table.
First up this week was to finish all of our pre-service training in preparation for our formerly scheduled meeting on Sunday. A lot of readings and a "fun" online class later we're all wrapped up, and I can't say I'll miss a second of it. After that it was on to visit the doctor to have him fill out a form for us saying that in his opinion we were medically sound both physically and mentally to raise a child. Boom! Fooled him, I'm just a step above an adolescent mentally, and my wife might say that more times than not its like she already has a kid around the house to take care of. But he already signed the form and there are no take backs! Last on the list of must-do's this week was to head over to the DMV office for a FBI & BCI fingerprint background check to make sure we have no past secret lives that might disqualify us as parents.
 |
| This process was summed up nicely by me dear friend Marc. |
I know I will turn out just fine, I just hope I don't learn that my sweet and beautiful Erin used to be a cut-throat black market international ivory trader and panther smuggler or something along those lines that might set of some red flags. Guess time will tell.
Ok, now on to the training. I'm happy to say that its actually progressing quite nicely. I guess the best way is to cover sport by sport.
My swim has noticeably improved, which I am most excited about. When I started this journey into the world of triathlon I thought "hey I can run and I've been in a pool, swimming will be golden". That was false, I was horrible. However, after a few months things have really started to shape up, I can actually get a mile (1640m) in straight without a break and can actually do it under 45 minutes. This seemed totally out of the realm of possibilities in January, which worried me due to the cut off times for Iron and Half Ironman races, but thats not until next year ;). My week generally consists of one open water and one pool swim, but the Canton Nat is closed for cleaning right now so the early morning pool swim is out. I am not sad about this, I like sleeping. So every Tuesday evening you'll find me on the beach in my wetsuit at Portage Lakes with a few teammates and friends getting ready to put some time into the lake. However some new friends of mine have convinced me that another open water swim on Sunday mornings at sunrise are a good idea, it is not, yet I still go. More on them later.
 |
| Who knew it'd only be 65ish degrees in August, perfect time for a swim in a lake. |
I haven't had as much time on my bike of late as I would want, mainly due to this issue with it needing to rain nearly everyday or at least the set times that I would like to take it out and put some miles in. This coming weeks forecast however finally looks like it might lend some better results. I have been able to get in a couple 20 milers and a longer 36 mile ride a couple weeks ago and everything feels fine. I've been able to slowly start to creep up my average speed, which I credit mainly to the new bike rather than me. But I feel confident in it and don't have many concerns about that leg of the race, I'm looking forward to that one the most I think.
Lately my main focus has been on the run, mostly due to the next month and a half of my life. I am entering the first stage of what I have lovingly deemed The September Death March. This starts this Saturday with a half marathon, then continues 3 weeks later with the Oly Tri and ends two weeks after that with the Akron Marathon full course.
A couple months ago I met some great new guys, the a fore mentioned friends with the sunrise swim infatuation, and I joined up with them for Saturday morning runs. They are all apart of a team called Active:Water and are running the Akron half and full in order to raise money for their cause. It is a fantastic cause by the way, I'll include some links, I recommend checking them out. They have all be incredibly supportive in our journey so I decided to run the marathon with them to show my support for their cause. While I'm not an "official" member of their team, I'll be with them each step of the race, just like they all are with us during ours. Maybe one day I'll get a shirt so I can match too, my team's red gear clashes with their blue. Good thing I'm usually in front, ha.
 |
| My shirt doesn't match, but whatcha gonna do. |
Last Saturday I put in the longest run I've ever done, 16 miles. It was long and I hurt a bit the next day, but I did it. Many of you know Erin and I's journey to healthy living that started almost 2 years ago now. When I started then I had never been able to run a single mile before. Hitting 16 and knowing that I could still do more and I wasn't dead really meant a lot to me. Then, however I realized that I still needed to add 10 more miles to hit a marathon. Then I cried a little inside.
Last year my goal was to just finish a half marathon and not walk. I did it and surprised my self by finishing at 2:03. Saturday I will race the same race with my brother but this time trying to finish sub 8 minute miles in under 1:45. Also beating Matt will be worth it too!
We made up a little flyer that I'll attach to this post if you'd like to share it with anyone or have somewhere you'd like to hang it to help us spread the message that would be great. Otherwise positive thoughts and ice packs are more than enough. So lets start this march. I just figure an adoption is a hard long run, if I can do that, this silly little death march will just be a drop in the bucket.
Give this a click to download a pdf of our flyer.
Buttacavoli Adoption Fundraiser Flyer
Some links to take a look at:
Team Active:Water
https://activewater.myetap.org/fundraiser/Africa/team.do?participationRef=3357.0.187852860
Running 4 H2O
http://thomas-costello.blogspot.com/
Love wins,
Adam & Erin
http://www.youcaring.com/buttacavoli
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
The light at the end of the first trimester
Our baby is the size of a peach? I guess not all of the similarities between adoption and natural baby production are the same. But we're soon to end our first trimester of the adoption. Maybe our baby is the size of a peach or maybe its already the size of a rutabaga. That's the greatest wonder we have through this process, is our baby already growing or has conception not even happened for future baby yet. But never the less we're almost out of the first trimester of adoption, so that baby is coming, we just don't know when.
Erin and I were talking last night and she was saying that adoptions are even more similar to being pregnant than I thought. She said that even adoptions have 3 trimesters, they just aren't necessarily on the same strict time-frame that natural baby obtaining is. And it seems that we are now in sight of the end of our first trimester.
The way she divided them was that the first trimester consists of the initial process phases of the adoption; signing with an agency, beginning paperwork, creating our parent profile and completing our home-study. The first can seem to go on forever, but its a good time to prepare yourself and your home, because there is no way to know how long or short the next two can be. We receive different situations thru our agency via email and some of them if we were to apply and then be selected could mean the baby would be due in less than 2-3 weeks from that time. Crazy.
The 2nd adoption trimester would be the wait period. This is when we're complete and just waiting on someone to pick us to parent their child. We're hoping for a short wait, but are prepared for it to take as long as it takes.
The 3rd trimester, as she went on to explain, was once we were matched with our birth parent until the time that we took the baby home with us. Again this can be a few months to a couple days depending on the situation. Good thing she's so organized and has my list of baby related projects, or we might end up with a baby and no place to keep them!
A couple weeks ago we had our 2nd of 3 home visits from our social worker for our homestudy. The 2nd visit is where they separate us and individually interview us based on the novel of information we had to fill out about ourselves, as well as go over the first round of training mandated by the state. Its a long meeting. I'm pleased to announce we passed, turns out we're decent people. Who woulda guessed.
In 2 weeks we have our last meeting. During our first visit she said she hoped to finalize our homestudy by October. When we asked her again at our last visit she said we would be all wrapped up by the end of August if everything goes as planned. We were super excited by that news. Once that is complete we will be able to apply for our loan and all the grants we are pursuing, since you have to have a finalized homestudy in order to apply for any of those.
So thats how it stands now, a few more weeks of forms, paperwork, fingerprinting, doctors physicals and more homework and we will be out of our first trimester and into the most daunting and emotional part of the process. This is all the calm before the storm.
Bring. It. On.
youcaring.com/buttacavoli
Erin and I were talking last night and she was saying that adoptions are even more similar to being pregnant than I thought. She said that even adoptions have 3 trimesters, they just aren't necessarily on the same strict time-frame that natural baby obtaining is. And it seems that we are now in sight of the end of our first trimester.
 |
| Such a small sampling of the paperwork |
The way she divided them was that the first trimester consists of the initial process phases of the adoption; signing with an agency, beginning paperwork, creating our parent profile and completing our home-study. The first can seem to go on forever, but its a good time to prepare yourself and your home, because there is no way to know how long or short the next two can be. We receive different situations thru our agency via email and some of them if we were to apply and then be selected could mean the baby would be due in less than 2-3 weeks from that time. Crazy.
The 2nd adoption trimester would be the wait period. This is when we're complete and just waiting on someone to pick us to parent their child. We're hoping for a short wait, but are prepared for it to take as long as it takes.
The 3rd trimester, as she went on to explain, was once we were matched with our birth parent until the time that we took the baby home with us. Again this can be a few months to a couple days depending on the situation. Good thing she's so organized and has my list of baby related projects, or we might end up with a baby and no place to keep them!
A couple weeks ago we had our 2nd of 3 home visits from our social worker for our homestudy. The 2nd visit is where they separate us and individually interview us based on the novel of information we had to fill out about ourselves, as well as go over the first round of training mandated by the state. Its a long meeting. I'm pleased to announce we passed, turns out we're decent people. Who woulda guessed.
In 2 weeks we have our last meeting. During our first visit she said she hoped to finalize our homestudy by October. When we asked her again at our last visit she said we would be all wrapped up by the end of August if everything goes as planned. We were super excited by that news. Once that is complete we will be able to apply for our loan and all the grants we are pursuing, since you have to have a finalized homestudy in order to apply for any of those.
So thats how it stands now, a few more weeks of forms, paperwork, fingerprinting, doctors physicals and more homework and we will be out of our first trimester and into the most daunting and emotional part of the process. This is all the calm before the storm.
Bring. It. On.
youcaring.com/buttacavoli
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
The next rung in the ladder
Well, there are a few updates that we can fill everyone in on.
We had our first meeting with our Social Worker and she gave us some timelines for completion of the homestudy portion of the process. This part must be done before you can even apply to birth situations. And it looks like we should be finishing up sometime around the end of September, we're hoping to speed it up a bit but we'll see. Our next meeting is on the 27th where we get to have some one on one meetings and go over the first half of our training. Extremely exciting material, extremely... We also have our fire inspection to make sure we're not bringing this baby into a death trap, we're pretty confident we'll make it through this one unscathed.
Since we also had some free time over the long holiday weekend we decided to start getting the guest room at the house made over into the nursery. This poses a couple challenges since we don't know what gender future baby will be and when we do find out we might not actually have enough time to get a blank room ready before their arrival. So we start now and we go neutral. A big thanks to Erin's mom and cousin for spending their 4th painting every inch of the room while I was out building two of the smallest desks I've ever seen. Still a long way to go on the room but at least its empty and started.
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| Future baby progress |
My training for the race is coming along nicely as well. I got a full race wetsuit the other day and for the first time I feel like the swim portion may not kill me after all and that I might actually be part dolphin. Just got to knock out this half marathon in a couple weeks then really get down to business on the tri work. A photo for your enjoyment as well!
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| its like an all the time warm hug |
I think that about covers where we're at now. We would really like to thank everyone who has donated to the fundraiser, words really can't express our gratitude. Please continue to share if you feel motivated, www.youcaring.com/buttacavoli. Since adoption is a bit less common the more we can educate people in the process the better. More updates soon!
Adam & Erin
Monday, June 24, 2013
A long journey to the first step
After piles upon piles of paperwork, surveys, releases and all kinds of other things to sign we've made it. Tomorrow we have our first meeting with Traci, our social worker for the homestudy. We have a feeling like we just got to the top of the roller coaster and just heard the last click of the track. I think that tomorrow will start the ride and everything is going to start flying at us at breakneck speeds. But we're ready for this train to start rolling!
Alright adoption process, lets do this!
Erin & Adam
Alright adoption process, lets do this!
Erin & Adam
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