A story a long time coming.

Well, this could be a long one so go ahead and sit back and relax. So many people have given us support along the way and really want to know the story of how Eden came into our lives, and who am I to disappoint, so this post will be just that.

Before I get into all of that I have some things to share, because there is a bit of back story that needs said in order to really understand everything...

1. My post on the 24th about the baby "probably coming very soon" was a bit of a lie. We knew. That day at the appointment we discussed the fact that if it wasn't natural by Wednesday then she would be induced by Friday, however her midwife of choice would not be there starting Friday morning, which left the appointment on Wednesday morning all but certain for some major developments.

2. I have been slightly vague about our birth parents, that is mostly to protect them, but also because the situation we matched with was slightly uncommon in the world of infant adoption. Frankly it might be hard to understand without being in the conversations we had along the way. Our birth parents are a married couple of 4 years and our 28 years old. They both work full time and own their own home, they are essentially just like us, we're even the same age. They were actually married a month after us. I will refer to them as E (mom) & J (dad) going forward. Its hard for people to understand their reasoning's and I won't get into them either, but we spent a lot of time with them the past couple months and really didn't have too much doubt going into it.

3. We became friends, one might even say good ones, and they will be a part of our lives for years to come. We fully intend to have a very open adoption with them and who knows, they may make some appearances at family events in the future.

Ok, now that we have all that cleared up. Here is the story of February 26, 2014. The last time it would just be Adam & Erin.

So, Monday at the midwife appointment we had a non-stress test scheduled. During this we listed to the heart beat and saw what we were told were contractions. They seemed pretty consistent and pretty evenly spaced. Actually J and I were joking about it and at one point he said "I thought when your contractions we're spaced like that it was time to have a baby?", we laughed and figured we had no idea what we were talking about. A few minutes later the midwife came in, looked at the machine then back at E and said, "Honey, are you in labor?" At that point we all looked at each other with blank faces and nervously laughed. She wasn't, but she was having early contractions. We went to the waiting area at that point so she could examine her (we are friends, but not that good). She was very slightly dilated, but not enough for concern. At this point the midwife said she should come back Wednesday if she was still pregnant. But at this point is also when she said it wasn't going to be recommended that she carry past the end of the week, due to size concerns (spoiler alert: shes was a tiny baby). So at that point Wednesday was looking very real.

We all chatted a lot the next couple evenings about the impending changes that we were all about to experience and also started to refine the name list, since we all decided to name the baby together.

5:30am
Wednesday morning came pretty fast. We had to be up a little after 5 because we needed to be in Westlake by 7:30 for the appointment. We're on our way and about 20 minutes into our ride we realize that the car isn't really warming up (our new one by the way). Its also a balmy 8º this morning, and I am wearing a pair of mesh running shoes. We freeze for 1 hour and 15 minutes.

7:30am
We get to the hospital for the midwife appointment and meet E&J there. When we go back for the visit they put the monitor back on her and we wait for her midwife to pop in. It is determined that they are going to strip her membranes in hope that it will stimulate her labor naturally and she won't have to be chemically induced. Another thing about E is that she is a very natural person, to the point that Motrin is more druggy than she is interested in taking. So any chance to avoid medications she can muster is what her plan is.

We headed back to the waiting area again and about 30 minutes later J came out and said that they had broke her water during the exam so things might start developing.

Que instant anxiety on our part.

A little while later they came out and E walked to the desk and said see ya Monday and we all walked out. Generally, once your water breaks they want you to be admitted and wait it out. Her midwife is really great and knows how E wants this birth to go, so she tells her to keep her mouth shut and get outta here and walk around at the mall and get some rest.

8:30am
We're done at the midwife and that baby is probably coming today. What is there to do for two adoptive parents and two birth parents? Clearly go grab some breakfast at the Bob Evans down the street, so that's what we did.

10:00am
We finish up breakfast and talk about what else the plan for the day will be. We all decided to just spend the day together, hang out and see what happens. However at this point we made the decision that we should run back home and swap cars since we had no heat in the one we drove up there. J mentioned at breakfast that taking a baby home in a car with no heat might not be the best call. We agreed.

They were going to take some time to themselves to lay down for a bit and we would just give them a call when we were back up in the area. We thought we were doing so well, we had everything packed in the car the night before so we were fully ready to camp out in Westlake for a few days, but now we get to run back to Massillon because our new car is more akin to a walk-in freezer than a vehicle.

1:00pm
Car swap and repack is complete and we are back in Westlake. E&J had spend some time doing some stretches and other things the midwife recommended to spur labor and were about to head over to the mall to walk around. We met them there and spent the next couple hours walking about, checking out the tea store, making jokes and just hanging around.

This is on of the things that I will absolutely never forget. We'd spent time together before; dinners, grabbing coffee and chatting, but this was different. We were no longer two couples who had been paired through a series of emails and a face to face meeting via the adoption agency. We were a couple friends who had been brought together by quite a series of events that probably neither of us would have chosen to experience, but we had, and we were all just trying so hard to be the most supportive of each other that we could. They never wanted to get themselves to the point that they needed to give a baby away for adoption, and we were "supposed" to have had our baby in December. Our time together that day was really no different than if Erin and I had been at the mall with our friends Marc & Brandy or Emily & Joel trying to help them stimulate their labor.

It was almost if we had all just accepted the uniqueness of our relationship and saw it for what it was. Four people who really loved this little baby who was getting ready to come into the world and wanted nothing but the best for her in life.

3:30pm
The midwife told us to come back around 3:30 and say she was having contractions so that she could see how things were developing. While we were at the mall the contractions did seem to pick up in intensity a bit. They were back in the office for over an hour on the machine being monitored. Around 4:30 they came out and basically what was happening was she was in full early labor. The midwife said that she though it would happen very late that night or early in the morning. So she sent them back home to have dinner and get some rest. Just to show what kind of people these two are, they asked us what we wanted to do and said they felt bad about just leaving us hanging and heading home.

We told them to go eat dinner and take a nap, because the more rested she was the easier this would all go for her. We decided that we would just grab a hotel room down the street so that we were always close by if the time came. We said our goodbyes and parted ways for a little bit. Erin and I had some Outback giftcards so we decided to go grab a good meal, since we weren't sure when the next one would be.

Another development at this appointment was that E's blood pressure had come down, it was a little elevated at the appointment in the morning. This was important because it was her intent to give birth in water. If her pressure was up they would only allow her to labor in water but not actually birth. So now she was free and clear. We were so happy for her that she didn't have to have any medications and was able to get into labor naturally and now was cleared to be able to deliver in water like she wanted.

E & J may have not wanted children, but they care more than a lot of people who I know with kids. She spent her entire pregnancy taking pregnancy yoga classes at the hospital and towards the end was getting regular alignments at the chiropractor to help aide in delivery. She also cut out caffeine and ate a full natural diet. This girl is a machine and unbelievably impressive as a person.

6:45pm 
We have finished dinner and have arrived back at the our palatial estate known as La Quinta. Erin decided she should shower, again because who knows when the next one might come. I turn on American Werewolf in Paris and think "this movie is ridiculous".

7:07pm
Erin has literally just got out of the shower and is digging thru her clothes to find something comfy to wear. Both of our phones ding (we use Google voice so that all texts and calls are forwarded to both our phones, also it help in the anonymity of the adoption process, even though we were long past this with these two). The text just said "we are heading to the hospital". The plan had been that they would let us know when they were leaving and then we would come over once they were admitted. I still thought I could grab a quick shower, Erin had other ideas. She turned in to a tornado and had quickly repacked all of our things and was ready to go. I said calm down I think we have a bit of time. After all I've seen doctor shows and I know that once you go into labor it takes hoouuurrrsssss to have the baby, duh.

She said, get in the car.

We got in the car.

7:33pm
We pull in and park at the hospital. J says he will be waiting for us at the entrance and go up with us. He said they just took her up. I told him "that seemed to develop quickly." He laughed and said once it started to get more intense it happened really fast.

7:37pm
We're in the maternity ward and have decided to just sit in the small sitting area by the coffee machine and fridge. J tells us he's going to go check on her and he'll let us know whats going on in a few. A couple minutes later he comes back and tells us "apparently she's really close, like, really really close", then he runs back down the hall.

They offered us something earlier that day at the midwife's that we had never expected and only existed in our dreams. Erin was going to be in the room when the baby was born, and that they were going to give her straight to Erin for skin to skin immediately after birth. We could never have asked for that or hardly even thought that it could be a possibility, we were luck enough as adoptive parents to even be at the hospital, let alone to be there when she arrived.

One of the nurses found us and said that they were going to move us right outside the door so that right before the baby was coming they could come grab Erin and bring her in.

8:00pm
The midwife came out of the room and gave us an update her words are something I will never forget, she said "this baby is coming like a bat outta hell." She told Erin to get ready and that they will be coming for her very soon.

And a few minutes later they did.

At this point I'm sitting in the hallway, by myself with two iPhones frantically texting our closest friends giving them blow by blow updates. I can hear E in there screaming and the midwife and nurses encouraging her along. I knew it was going to be really soon. The best thing I could say to everyone was "I'm going to puke". Thankfully I didn't actually end up doing so, but I think I was pretty close.

8:14pm
Crying. There is crying coming from the room. She was here. The baby that we had been waiting so long for was not just an idea anymore but a real thing on the other side of the door across from me. I heard the nurse say 5lbs flat, and then I experienced longest few minutes of my life waiting to go into the room and meet my daughter. Also my dear friend Holly gave me permission to puke at this point and if that door didn't open up I may have taken her up on that. Little Eden was a full water birth and had absolutely no problems coming into this world.

The nurse opened the door and said that everything was perfect and that they had the curtain pulled around the tub so E could recover but Erin was on the couch and I could come in and meet her.

I can never forget walking into that room and seeing Erin sitting so peacefully on the couch with the most perfect little baby snuggled up against her chest, with her big blue eyes looking up at me. I lost it, slightly. We spend a few minutes there and then our nurse Chanin took the three of us down to a small room at the end of the hall that they decided we would be staying in until we could take the baby home.

 

 

 

 

Our very first family picture.

Look at those eyes.

You're probably trying to imagine how all these people fit into a hospital room. This is not a normal room, its giant. By giant I don't mean big, I mean huge. Check it out.

You cant see the giant sitting area right behind the camera, or smell all the aromatherapy being pumped into the suite. It is right for all you moms to feel super jealous right now.
Its ok, I forgive you, its an amazing room.

It was a slow night in the ward and Chanin was only responsible for us and E & J. She spent a lot of time with us that night helping us figure out what were doing and we will never forget her or any of the staff at the hospital. So many times with adoption the adoptive parents aren't treated like new parents and aren't even given rooms at the hospital many times. They treated us like we just birthed her ourselves, and that is something we can never thank them enough for.

The following days
We spent a lot of time with our friends E & J the following day and even for a little bit later in the night after she was born. On Thursday we decided the little peanut's name would be Eden and then a week later we decided on Jeanette as a middle name. Her name is a bit of a tribute to all four of us. Eden is an "E" for Erin and E and Jeanette is a "J" for my middle name and J's first name.

There was so much that was unexpected from the whole adoption experience. We never thought we'd be there when she was born, never thought we'd be the first to hold her and we never thought we'd grow to love and care for the birth family so much. But all of that happened.

One of the hardest things at the hospital was when E & J were leaving. They spent close to 2 hours in our room with us chatting and waiting for all of our favorite nurse Chanin to come on so that they could say thanks and goodbye to her as well. When they actually left to go home was the toughest moment we had at the hospital. We all knew that the right decision was made, but the uncertainty of the future was the problem. We didn't know if we were losing our friends and if our relationship would ever be able to be the same now that Eden was here. We had talked and talked about all staying in each others lives, we all hugged when they left and I told them we are all family at this point and we're bonded for life. But you never know how things will work out in the end, and there was a real chance that we'd never see these two amazing people who came into our lives only two months prior, but who we'd grown to deeply care about over that short time.

Pair that with a new baby and no sleep and you'll get an emotional breakdown.

I could write for pages on how amazing these two are as people, but I won't bore you with all of that. I will say the J is the picture of what a man and a husband should be. The way he cared for E throughout the whole process was truly nothing short of inspiring. If more people in this world could live by his example, there would be far less issues. The way those two put the greater good before themselves is nothing short of amazing. We are honestly honored to consider them our friends and humbled that they gave us the greatest gift of all, out sweet little Eden.

They told us to send them a message when we got home so that they knew we made it home safely. After a few messages back and forth it really seemed like they were ok, which was a huge relief to us. Thinking that they were hurting so bad, because we were so happy was a hard thing to handle. No one wants a friend to suffer on their behalf.

I sent J an email with some personal things I wanted to tell him at the hospital that I just simply never got a chance to since it all went so fast and we heard back from them a couple days later. Part of their response was exactly what I would have expected from them, and it really made us feel great.

They said that not to sound weird but they really missed hanging out with us the next day after all the time we spent together. They also said that they wanted to send us a message but also didn't want to intrude, she said it was like a first date and they weren't sure how long they were supposed to wait to call. Erin and I laughed really hard, because we had just had the exact same conversation the night before. It just really shows how great they are and how well we all get along.

Last Thursday we finally made it to court for our placement hearing that was supposed to happen 72 hours after birth, it was the first time we'd get to see them since the hospital and we were really excited.

I think it really through the lawyers for a loop when the 4 of us just immediately reverted back to the past like we were old friends that hadn't seen each other in a while. I'm pretty sure that's a little rare in the adoption world. We actually all five went out to dinner after the hearing so we would get to spend some nice time with each other. I think its exactly what we all needed.

We can't say how thankful we are for them and are indebted to them for the rest of our days because of the amazing little girl they gave us. We never thought we'd come out of this process with a perfect little baby and two great new friends, but that's what seems to have happened.

The future is a complete uncharted territory with the 5 of us, but it looks good. Families come in all kinds of ways, ours just got a little more interesting but how else would it be. Hopefully we can all grow together and morph into something really great for the four of us and for Eden. There will be some growing pains along the way I'm sure, but as long as we all put the love for Eden first I'm sure it will all have a happy ending for all of us. It certainly has so far.

I guess that's about it for now. The adoption will be finalized in 6 months due to Ohio law, but I'm sure there might be some more updates along the way. We just really want to thank everyone for all the support along the way. It was a hard road at times, and sometimes looked like a dead end. But it all works out someway in the end. We never imagined it would be this perfect, but it seems to be.

Love won.
Adam & Erin ...and Eden!

Thanks everyone!!!

Knock, knock

"Good morning everyone! My name is Eden. All 4 of my parents are still working on my middle name, but they're very close. I was born Wednesday night at 8:14 and weighed a whopping 5lbs even and was 18" long. I'm probably going to play center one day in the WNBA."

I can't tell you all how excited we are to have this little peanut. We were released from the hospital Friday at about 5:30 so we are all 3 safe at home. I will admit the post on Monday was a bit of shot gun posting on my part. We were pretty certain Wednesday was going to be the day.

It's quite the story, but that's one for another day. For now we will just sit back and enjoy sweet little Eden. 

Thanks so much to everyone for all the support and prayers along the way, it's all totally worth it in the end. 

I forgot I'm supposed to blog...

Well, its been a little bit since I lasted updated everyone. I could blame it on schedules or hectic life, but more than likely its my laziness. However, we do have some things that have been happening and this update will tell you all about it.

So last we spoke, we had just been matched and had gone to meet them at the hospital for an orientation / birthing class. Since then we have had many talks with them and even met them out a couple times to get to know each other a little more and talk about the future and our lives that have suddenly become extremely intertwined.

Its been a completely different ride this time around, we are being included in things we never even would have imagined. We've been invited to birthing classes, midwife appointments and also asked if we would like to have another ultrasound so that we could actually get to see her. Which we did get to do last Monday.

My plan was to post about that soon after, but Erin and I found ourselves with mixed emotions afterward. On one hand it was absolutely amazing to see her in there, to see her feet and to see her sucking on her little thumb are something we will never forget. But it also made the whole situation very real to all parties involved, including the birth parents. We've really bonded to them through this and they are two really great people who we would be proud to call friends. Knowing that what can result in the greatest day in our life will probably be one of the worst in theirs. It just really makes you think about a lot of different things that you've never really considered.

It was amazing of them that they even offered us the chance to experience such a thing, but afterwards the doctor voiced some concern about her size being smaller than she'd like to see. However, if you were to see her mom you would not be shocked at all at that kind of possibility. All of her blood flow and fluid levels seem perfectly fine, shes just a tiny little thing. But all of that put some extra stress onto someone who's already at the end of their rope. Bittersweet is probably the best way to describe everything that we've experienced in the past few weeks.

Something else that we knew we would have to deal with if we did go see an ultrasound was the realization that shes a person and not an idea. Clearly obvious, however up until this point, in this adoption as well as the last. The baby was just an idea, she was just the baby that hopefully one day would come live with us. We knew that once we saw her moving around and heard her little heart beating and got some grainy, hard to make out pictures to take home we would be in deeper than we've even been before. And if something went wrong like before, it would be that much harder to deal with. We decided to just have a little faith and trust our own thoughts and instincts. If she does end up coming home with us, the opportunity to have been able to see her ultrasound would be completely worth it in the end.

Another thing we've decided to do with them is come up with her name. In our conversations we all thought that it would be really special for her to know that a group of people that all love her worked together to give her a name. We have two front runners for a first name, but we think we're gonna wait to see her to decide which one fits the best, so feel free to guess away, but know you'll probably be wrong.

Some people find it hard to understand why we would have so much involvement and be willing to work with the birth parents on things like the name but Erin and I have always went into this process with the understanding that we will be our child's parents, but we are not the ones who gave her life. And nothing we can do will ever change that, so we embrace it. We've seriously lucked out in the situation we've been dealt, and it probably wouldn't happen this way with someone else, so we will continue on working together to make sure that this little girl is loved and cared for more than any other little girl on the block. Its really all about love in the end anyway, right?

Right now we sit with about 3 weeks until her due date. This morning we went to her midwife appointment and heard her heart beating again. Its all just so surreal.

I don't think anyone is actually anticipating her making it to her date.

So here we sit, again.

Waiting for the phone to ring, again.

But hoping this time its the call that we have been hoping we would receive.

My guess is the next posting won't have this much time elapsed. We appreciate all the nice things people have said to us and all the prayers that have been offered. Right now is probably a good time to ramp those bad boys back up.

Love Wins,
Erin & Adam

Who remembers the roller coaster?

Ok class, who remembers that talk we had a few months ago about a roller coaster and how it represents life? You know how sometimes when you're on one and everything is going so fast and you think your coming to the end but it actually is a secondary hill that you slowly begin to click back up one notch at a time?

Well that's just where we are right now. Oooo the suspense.

There is some over lap to this post and when we last posted the whole story about the failed adoption. I will do my best to keep all the timelines straight.

The day after we found out we were not going to be taking a baby home I emailed our agency just to kind of see what happens next. This was uncharted and unplanned territory. She wrote back and gave her condolences and told me that they would figure out any financial ramifications that we needed to know of, but in the mean time they had two other situations that they were taking profiles for and that we could toss ours onto the stack. That was a very strange thing to hear. We had been planning for the past couple month and suddenly we were back at the beginning and being told we could just apply to new situations.

I thought it would be helpful to apply just to feel like we were actively trying to move forward. Erin was unsure. Even though we went into the process not having a preference about a boy or girl, we had spent 3 months planning on a girl so Erin decided that for right now we might only apply for situations that the baby was female. Neither of us really had any thoughts that this would go any further than us applying then getting back to our grieving. We decided that one of the situations raised some concern for us but the second seemed steady, we wrote back and said they could put us in for that situation. They we're scheduled to meet with the family on the coming Sunday. 4 days after our supposed to baby was born.

The next week, which was the week before Christmas (for those trying to timeline), we got an email while at dinner. It was pretty short and simple but said that the family had decided to as 5 adoptive families the same questions and we were on that list. Honestly, we were a little shocked to have even heard back from them. That night we sat down and answered them as honestly as we could and sent the email off. They weren't overly long answers but we were as straight forward as we could be. One thing we've learned is that this process is an all cards on the table kind of thing.

We planned a little mini trip to Toronto over Christmas just to get away for a bit and that was coming up the following Monday. I have a group of friends that I run with Saturday mornings, the 28th was my week to plan it. So everyone showed up, we knocked out 5 miles (I need to get back into shape BTW) and then they all took off. Erin was at work until about 1 so I was just hanging around the house until then, we had plans to go to diner with my family that night for a little pre-Christmas meal since we wouldn't be around on the actual day.

About 12:45 I got a phone call, from the agency.

They were calling to let me know that this family really liked us a lot and wanted to set a meeting to talk with us, but they wanted the agency to ask us before Christmas so that they could have a bit of piece of mind going into the holidays. I was in shock. We had not considered that this would even be a possibility, but we had a meeting set for Dec 30 at our agency in Medina. Erin got home right as I hung up with the agency.

To say that there were mixed feelings about another potential match would be an understatement. Two weeks before we were planning on a baby being at our house for Christmas, now three days before we're being contacted about potentially being matched with other baby. Remember the roller coaster? Ya, were in it.

On the 30th we all met at the agency and talked for about 45 minutes. We found out that they were not scheduled to meet with anyone else either. Both parents are involved in this situation so that was a big change from the last time. Everything seemed to go pretty well. I can't really explain how these meetings actually feel, those that have been in them know exactly what I mean, but they're a little awkward. Strangers meeting for the first time essentially interviewing to be the parents to someone else's unborn child. Its just simply weird. On New Years day we got a text from the agency that they would like to meet with us one more time to get to know us a little more. So that meeting was set for the 7th, or this past Tuesday for those reading in the present.

This time the meeting was at a coffee shop with no social worker present, just a neutral location for 4 people to sit down together and talk about life, babies, hobbies and just regular stuff. We ended up sitting together for two hours and basically closed out the shop. We left that meeting feeling much better and having a much better connection to them.

It turns out that they felt exactly the same way, because 10 minutes after we left we got a message from the agency telling us that they were absolutely choosing us as their adoptive family.

We are matched...again.
We are having a girl...again.
And that baby is due March 14th.

This situation is 100% different already, the attitudes towards the plan are far more positive then negative, where everyone is in life is different and the involvement is totally different. The whole situation is just different.

Last night we drove up to Westlake to take a hospital orientation / birth class with them. Their belief is that we should be as involved and included in the early stages so that we can experience everything leading up to her birth, and that way when shes asks questions later in life we can give her real, solid answers. This has always been Erin and I's hope but I don't think its all that common. We really want a relationship with them so that we can tell the baby about them one day, so that she can know that there were 4 people who came together to love her and do the best thing possible for her. And right now it seems like that might actually happen for us.

So were back on the ride, maybe we never really got off. Now hopefully in the next 9 weeks the train pulls calmly back into the station and we can hop onto the next ride of becoming parents. I'm sure there will be more bumps, but hopefully we've hit all the major ones at this point.

Until next time.

Away we go,
Adam & Erin

The story that wasn't supposed to be told

This is not a feel good story. It does in fact have a happy ending, however it just isn't written yet. It will though, soon rather than later.

When we decided to do this bog in conjunction with the adoption we agreed that we would share everything about our process. Partially because its a confusing thing that most people simply just don't understand but also to help others out who might be considering taking a journey down this road. With this decision comes a lot of happy and exciting tales but unfortunately also comes with a lot of potential heartache, for all kinds of different reasons.

We both felt that this was an important story to tell even if its a hard one to tell. The day the baby was born was going to be bitter sweet no matter what the outcome. Either we were going to be taking a child away from their mother and she would have to live with that the rest of her life, or she would decide to keep her baby with her and we would be left on the outside looking in. Unfortunately the latter would hold true this time around.

On December 10th, my phone rang in the afternoon. It was Erin, the agency had just called her and told her our birth mother was headed to the hospital, she was having some contractions. At this point she didn't think the baby was actually on the way so we were told to just hang out and wait to see if the hospital admitted her and then it would be determined if we should grab our stuff and head to Dayton. Once I got home we decided that we would get everything packed up and ready to go in case we received word that she would be staying in the hospital and that this was all about to go down.

All evening and into the night we were in contact with the agency and with our birth mother, we had really formed a good relationship with her and usually talked to her a couple times a week via text messages, so at no point did we really feel out of the loop. She told us that she didn't think it was actually happening that night and to just stay home. We will never really know if that was actually the case or just step one in her reconsideration. Frankly it doesn't really even matter. So we went to bed wondering what was going to happen and if we would get a phone call in the middle of the night that would send us on a 3.5 hour drive down to Dayton.

The next morning we still had received no further word so we just went on as normal. We actually didn't even know if they had admitted her or not, they still had not as of about 11:30 the night before.

While on the way into work my phone rang again. It was Erin and she said that she just heard from Denise and that she had had the baby in the night, but had not contacted the agency yet, she told us that is usually not a good sign. I sat around in a daze for the next half hour or so at work until Erin called back.

The agency had talked to her and she was going to keep the baby. I'm not really sure what emotions I felt at that moment; mostly shock, disappointment and sadness I think, but not anger.

The agency gave Erin our birth mother's direct line at the hospital and encouraged her to call her, they do a pretty good job at holding the mothers accountable for their choices. This is how I know that Erin is a stronger person than I am, because there is no way I could have made that call.

It was a pretty short phone call. There were tears on both sides. She reassured Erin that this was never her plan but that it had all happened so fast and that once it did she just couldn't go through with it. Before anyone can judge her actions, just ask yourself if you could have a baby then immediately give it away to someone else and potentially never see them again. Neither of us ever could no matter what, so we understood. It hurt, bad, but we got it. She had been a large part of our life for three months and we had formed a pretty good bond so Erin also just wanted to say goodbye to her as well.

We'll never know what actually went on in her mind at the hospital that night or through her mind in the days before or after, but there also isn't anything we can do about it. When we decided to do this the secondary motivation was to be able to help out someone who was going through a rough patch in life.

Our friend Rob sent Erin a text a few days after and said that our actions have lasting results, it might be years down the road and we may never even know about it, but everything we do has a lingering effect, it was maybe the most comforting thing that we heard. And he's right we may never know the results, but we may have been the only people in her life telling her we were proud of her,that she was a good mother and that she can be successful. Maybe those simple encouragements will give her the confidence she needs to get on a successful path through life. Maybe we were put in her life to help her through her darkest times. We will never know, but if it is the case hopefully we will be rewarded for the struggles that we had to go through as a result.

Its been a rough couple of weeks, for me it sunk in right away, for Erin it took a week to really hit her. We decided that we just needed to get away and not be home for Christmas, mostly just because it was not going to be the Christmas it was supposed to be. Our families supported us, even though we know they didn't like it. We just got home from a nice 4 days in Canada. It was good to be with each other and having some fun without our phones even being on. No matter what happens we still have each other and we still live a great life. One day, hopefully soon, we will be able to share that life with our child.

That's it for now, hopefully more updates soon.

Hopefully only happy ones. I'm tired or writing sad stories. Thanks to everyone who has supported us all along the way and especially in the past couple weeks. 2013 can take a hike, on to better things in 2014!

Love wins,
Adam & Erin

The wrong call

This will be short.

The baby was born last night, we knew our birth mother went to the hospital. But the updates ran dry. This morning we found out she was born in the night, but then we also found out she was going to parent the baby.

I don't really have anything else to say right now, there really isn't anything else to say honestly. That is that and we will get past it and move on. We're still committed to this plan, but we honestly didn't see this coming.

That's all for now.

Adam & Erin

A few more clicks on the roller coaster.

Well its been a little bit since the last update, maybe too long, but we’re busy so what are you gonna do? We are currently in our last “safe” week at the Buttacavoli casa. As I type we are sitting at 37 weeks 0 Days. Which means that no one should be surprised if she shows up next week or very soon after. That is terrifying.

So, last we talked we had just matched and were signing our paperwork. Also going on in the background at this time was a surprise baby shower for Erin, I suppose us, but mainly her since I was in the loop on this. It was just a very happy coincidence that we happened to match about a week before the shower, even though it had been months in planning.

In fact, the matching almost threw a wrench into the plan. You see with matching comes payment. A very large payment. The plan was to meet up with our friends Emily, Joel, Rick and Debbie in Wooster to have dinner and have a couple glasses of wine at the wine bar before hand. With mailing this monster of a check, left us all but broke as a joke, Erin wanted to cancel the date since we didn’t have money. I managed to talk her out of it.

Somehow, mostly with Erin being some kind of money hoarding genius, we managed to come up with every last penny we should need for the rest of the process. As we started to combine the accounts and add money from here and there I said there was no way we had it all. We did, literally by $25. Frankly its really nothing short of a miracle, its going to make things tight around here for a while until we replenish the supplies but we did not have to take any loans out. We also applied for a grant, that we should find out about next week. We don’t have any real hopes for it, but it would be amazing if we received it for sure.

The day of the shower comes and we’re supposed to arrive at 7, but I’ve been told to push it and arrive 15-20 minutes late to ensure everyone makes it and it hidden away before our arrival. I can be slow if I need to, very slow. Its about time to leave and I decide I need to iron my shirt, I worried that this would throw up a red flag since this is an uncommon event. We finally get on the road and gas happened to be extra cheap that day, somewhere around $2.89ish, so what happened next? We stop to fill up.

Mission accomplished, I have made us 25 minutes late and have annoyed Erin with my antics at the same time. Good thing it won’t last long.

Once we arrive our friends are waiting for us with an open bottle and a couple glasses. We talk for a second and Debbie tells Erin she needs to see how they remodeled the party room. They open the door and Erin is blown away by 25-30 of our closest friends and family.

She lost it. 100%. I was close, but I’m a man and I shoved those emotions down into the abyss where they belong.

To say that she had no idea would be an understatement. She just kept looking around in amazement and couldn’t even figure out how some of these people even knew about it since there were a couple different social circles present. This is when she learns that I’ve known about this for months and that I’ve created our entire registry and helped with the guest list all without her having a single clue. She doubts my powers of observation; I pay more attention to her (and her Pinterest) than she thinks. Also the best part of an adoptive baby shower, we can both drink wine since no one is actually pregnant. Score.

The amount of gifts was just crazy, there’s no other way to describe it. The only reason we are going to ready for her to arrive is because of all the support from our friends and family that we’ve received. For that there’s no way we can thank everyone enough.

Adding all the clothes and stuff we’ve received from Emily, Holly, Nikki and Brandy-Mart, this little girls room is fully stocked up and about 90% complete. Certainly enough to get her home.

Casa de Baby

Erin is very proud of the doors.

Maybe her middle name will be Ikea...

Erin has been getting her nest on of late, and her car is already packed up with all of the babies stuff we’ll need to bring with us for our as yet undetermined length of stay in Dayton once she’s born.  Which is good, because left to my own I’m sure we would have 0.0% of this stuff ready.

We have been in communication with our birth mother pretty regularly since she chose us, we text a couple times a week and have really grown to respect and care for her a lot since our first meeting. We’ve found that we have a lot in common actually and seem to have formed a pretty strong bond, which long term we believe is the most healthy thing for us and our unconventional family. We’re actually going down to have dinner with her on Sunday so we can meet and chat one more time before the chaos of the birth all goes down.

Looking back to May when we told our parents that we had signed a contract to become adoptive parents we did not think that by the end of the year we would have our baby, but that is exactly what looks to be happening. It’s been a crazy ride so far and I think we are actually just a few clicks from the top of the first hill on the rollercoaster. And in just a matter of weeks we’re going to crest that hill and then it will get really crazy. Who knows what the next update may hold. But please keep us in your thoughts in the meantime.

Away we go.

Adam & Erin

Advice from my friend Benjamin

A few weeks back my little friend Benjamin Beltz said to me “Dendamin up down, up down”. I didn’t think that the time that those few words from a two year old would hold such a prominent place in the past couple weeks of our lives.

At last we spoke, I had left you with the knowledge that we were approved as adoptive parents with a completed home study and had applied to two different birth situations right out of the gate. Well, things have been pretty crazy since then so I guess I will catch you all up.

Along with this adoption we’ve also been looking to replace our car, apparently the greater powers though it would be fun for it all to need addressed at once. Brace yourselves because this one could get long, but you won’t want to miss the surprise twist at the end.

Did that give it away? Probably not.

Ok, so when we left off it was Sept 30 and we had been approved and applied to two birth mother situations. I received an email three days later from our agency letting us know that the one situation that we had been really hoping to hear from would like to meet us! They set a meeting for the following Thursday the 10^th at 7pm down in Dayton. Cue a week of anxious nerves and some sleepless nights.

The night before we were supposed to drive down to Dayton, I get a call from Erin at about 8:30. She was at in home appointment in Akron and our car was dead to the world. Awesome. So off to the shop the car was towed and a phone call to my mom was made to borrow her car for the next day. Up down, up down.

Thursday afternoon rolls around and we hit the road. Having not a single clue as what to expect but we were off, in our borrowed car. We make it through Columbus, then all the way to Huber Heights. As I’m on the phone with the shop about our car’s busted starter, Erin get a text from the agency that the meeting may be cancelled. We got off at the next exit and after some back and forth with the agency the decision was made for us to go grab some dinner and give it some time. So the wait began. Finally about 7:30ish we finally got a call that the meeting was in fact going to be cancelled. Around we turned with a whole huge load of questions and crushed emotions.

I won’t get in to the reasons for the cancellation but to us it sounded like a legit excuse, but you really just never know. However, by time we were back through Columbus on the way home we had a rescheduled meeting for Sunday afternoon, back down in Dayton.

Ok, back to the car. Friday it’s got a new windshield and a fresh new starter and we are ready to be rid of it. Good thing because we had an appointment at 9am in Cleveland to check out the new car and put a deposit down on it. No problem right? Wrong, someone clicked Buy It Now on eBay the night before we were to look at it.

Long story short, we go up anyway to look at two other cars, one of which was being sold just as we pulled into the dealership. So we chose the other one. Car selection process done. Up down, up down.

And now we’re back to Sunday and our meeting. We headed out mid morning hoping that we would in fact actually be able to have our meeting. That was a stressful ride, every time the phone made a noise our stomachs fell to our feet. But we never got word of a cancellation. We arrived a bit early so we walked around a couple stores to pass some time and then headed over to the restaurant for the meeting. As we were pulling in we got a call telling us that the meeting was on. Here we go.

Her social worker arrived first and we talked for 10-15 minutes before our birth mother arrived. We really had no idea what or who to expect. All we see is some very basic background info on her, she receives the same for us. The point of the meeting is just to get to know each other.

I’ll be honest, I think we both expected someone a little less put together, if not for the simple reason that they are clearly not in the best life circumstance if they are forced to choose someone else to parent their child. This is not what we saw, she is a beautiful and smart young woman who clearly has her act together but has simply come to a very difficult crossroads in her life. We ended up chatting for almost an hour and a half and when we left felt a huge bond to her. We talked a lot on the way home and felt that her situation was simply perfect for us. It’s a weird and kind of terrible feeling to hope that someone chooses to give up their child and that you hope they pick you to give it too. Then again this whole process is full new feelings all around. And generally a huge weight was lifted of our shoulders. We loved her and the story about Thursday seemed to check out.

So with the meeting out of the way we can now finalize this car situation. We had found our car, put a deposit down and secured our financing. One thing left to do, sell the old car. Given that we had a guaranteed price on it from Auto Trader that would be a simple transaction right? Wrong. I’ll spare all the gory details but after a few days going back and forth with a generally dishonest local dealership that shall remain nameless (but it rhymes with Snake-Um) we were finally rid of the car and have picked up Erin’s new ride. All is well on the car front. Up down, up down.

Friday night, a little less than a week has passed since our meeting and we haven’t received word on a decision yet. We had got a couple messages along the way that she really liked us and was still going to need the time to think about this choice a little more. Erin stared to get very emotional about the whole process Friday evening. The strange feeling of guilt that someone will have to give up their baby to make us a family and that the happiest day of our lives will also be the absolute worst day of theirs just became a little too much to process.  Simple fact is that this is an entirely different monster and no one that has not experienced it can never really know what kind of feeling start to well up. But on we go.

Saturday morning was a rare one, Erin was actually off work. We slept in and caught up on some of those sleepless nights from the week before.  I eventually got up and decided I needed to go out for a run, I’ve been lacking in that and have been paying for it each time I do drag myself out onto the road. Who woulda knew that 2 weeks away post marathon would send you so far back in your conditioning. Not me I guess.

As I’m coming back up our street, finishing up my 6 miles, I see Erin out in the yard and I am confused. She runs out into the street, at this point I have no idea what’s happening other than I am sweaty, tired and my legs hurt. She pulled my headphones off and said simply, “she picked us, we’re having a baby!”

Let me repeat that.

SHE PICKED US, WE’RE HAVING A BABY!

Honestly, I had no idea what to say or feel, so naturally I said the smoothest thing possible at that exact special moment. “I can’t process this right now, I think I need to finish my .12 miles.” And then I ran to the end of the street and back. I know, I’m ridiculous. But I dare you to be able to understand what just happened when you get news like that sprung on you the second you get back to your house.  I could have done better, but that’s just not me anyway…

We should have paper work today to sign and become officially matched, but as of right now our daughter (yes, it’s a girl!) is due to be born in just 63 days. Ya, just 2 months. But look at the calendar and then those dates a little bit closer. She is due on Christmas Eve!

The weight of all that has happened really hasn’t fully hit either of us yet, but we will probably have the greatest Christmas ever this year and we can not wait. And by some other miracle, it seems like we actually have all of the money to pay our agency without taking out a loan or borrowing from our retirement. We had honestly planned on the match process taking 6ish months or more so we would really be able to get our finances in order, but that just wasn’t in the cards. And yet we are still able to have all we need, literally by $25. We are going to be draining almost every cent of savings and emergency money we have, plus next month’s grocery budget (so anyone who wants to take us to dinner, you know how to get ahold of us, lol… but seriously, not really joking) but it’s there.

So go a head and say a prayer for us that nothing big comes up before we can start to pay ourselves back, while we say one to say thanks for us have just enough to cover what we need. While you’re doing that, make sure to say one for our birth mother as well, our great news is her crushing blow and she should not be forgotten in this at all.

I’m sure the updates should be flowing from here on out, but right now baby Buttacavoli should make her appearance on Christmas Eve, in just 2 short months.

Up down, up down, up.

Away we go,

Erin and Adam

www.youcaring.com/buttacavoli

Life's a marathon, but thats just the beginning...

The analogy the life is not a sprint but a marathon couldn't have rang more true this weekend.

Saturday was the 11th running of the Akron Marathon, and would also be the first (and probably last) full marathon that I would run. It was the final step in what would be the hardest month and a half of training that I went through this summer. Starting with a half marathon in mid-August, to a 20 miler, then the Oly Tri and a single week "rest" before the day came.

I generally don't get nervous before a race, I generally feel that I am trained up for it and am pretty confident in my abilities. This was not the case for the 26.2 mile race ahead of me. I was as trained as I could be but also had a time goal in my mind of sub 4 hours. I really didn't think it was going to be possible. This was absolutely going to be the toughest single event I would have put myself through.

4:30 in the morning comes extremely fast when you toss and turn all night. Erin and I got to Akron about 5:30 and met the group that I was running the race with and tried our best to get each other psyched up and ready to run for at least the next 4 hours. Eventually the time came, the national anthem was sang, a bell rang and 3 minutes later I was crossing the start line. Off we went.

5:30 happy faces before the pain.

To hit my goal I had to stay at a 9:00/mile pace. My strategy was to settle in around 8:30-45/mile for the first 16ish miles so when the climb out of the valley kicked in and my legs fell off I'd have a bit of a cushion. I missed seeing Erin around mile 3 (probably because I was soo fast), but I did see her at mile 8 and it put a smile on my face and kept me chugging along. After the half marathoners split from the group at 11 it got far less crowded quickly. Coming down a hill and making the turn onto the tow path I glanced over and saw Erin running right next to me. She had ran from to catch us on the turn to see us one more time before we disappeared for the next 14ish miles. Seeing her smile and getting to tell her I loved her before I headed into the worst part of the race was huge for me.

Mile 12, still feeling strong.

I had read that marathoners hit the line around mile 20, its when the glycogen store in your muscles run out and you are straight up out of stored energy. At mile 18 I was thinking to myself, "this isn't actually too bad, I might be enjoying this... I could totally do this again.

Fast forward to mile 20.5ish... It was like a switch was flipped, suddenly everything started to hurt, every slight grade change felt like everest. That line had found me. The last 10k of a marathon are truly a mental battle almost as much as a physical one. My pace dropped a bit but I knew I was still on target, I had built a 15 minute cushion at that point. About every mile past 22 my right calf would completely lock up forcing me to stop a stretch it out for a couple seconds. I just kept telling myself that there were always going to be harder points in life and that if I could power through this I could make it though whatever life tossed at me. The last stretch down Main St. towards Canal Park was the hardest run I've ever had, another cramp stopped my briefly but I was going to make it. When I turned into the stadium through the outfield and saw the time I knew I could crawl to the line and still beat my goal.

I crossed at 3:53:00. 8 minutes faster that my goal. There at the line I was met by my friend and one of my inspirations in the running world Brian, who also happens to be the race director. I was dead, and he was pumped for me, it really meant a lot to me to hear his congratulations and the quick hug before I headed down the line to claim my medal.

The next 2 days hurt. A lot. In fact, right now I am dreading having to walk down the stairs to hang out on the couch and then maybe even more having to walk back up them to get to bed. I have come to the conclusion that my marathon dreams are now complete. I did it, I achieved me goal and I won't have to do it again.

But maybe even bigger than that achievement was that we received an email this afternoon from the director at our agency. We have been approved! We can start to apply and try and match to a birth mother to get our baby. Actually we already applied to a situation. We heard about it a couple weeks ago and we interested then, but we not finalized yet. Last week we got word that she was requesting more profiles to review, meaning she had yet to match. I emailed our director and said we were interested and should be final any day now. Today the email asked if we would like to apply.

Erin and I looked at each other and just thought, this is actually happening. After what felt like forever we were actually tossing our hat into the ring to see if someone would choose us to parent their child.

To say it was a little surreal and overwhelming would be inaccurate. It's probably the strangest and most exciting feeling we've ever felt. We have no idea when we'll find out if we've been chosen or not but either way, we can actually make out the finish line out there in the distance. There will be cramps that will put us on the side of the road before we cross the line, it will hurt, we will want to give up. But just like the post race pain, in time we will forget about that and just remember the glory at the end and that baby will be worth all that 10 fold.

We can see the line and we will finish but instead of a medal and mylar blanket, it will be our baby and the rest of our lives. Now to just keep one foot in front of the other and keep on pushing.

Love wins,
Erin & Adam

Race Weekend Recap

This post will be a bit different than the others, mainly because there are no real updates in the adoption process, but I did want to give everyone an update on how the race went this weekend.

The Oly Tri at Portage Lakes was Sunday morning, but as it happens my favorite local 5k race of the year (Smucker's Applebutter Run) happened to fall on the morning of the 14th. The day before my main race of the year. Now a little back story on why this race is awesome. Its the breakfast, a full and massive Smucker's sponsored breakfast feast, complete with as many Uncrustables as one can eat. Its breathtaking, but I digress.

I had chosen last minute to skip it due to some other people schedule conflicts, but I got a text from my brother saying he had already registered. I signed up the next day. Last year I was able to take 1st in my age group, so I went into this with a little bird telling me I needed to repeat my title. I HAD planned on an easy run, but as it were when everyone else started going I just couldn't hold it back. In the end I had hit my year goal of breaking a 21 minute 5k by 12 seconds and was able to take 1st in my group once again. An added bonus was beating Matt, however he also managed 3rd place in his slightly more competitive group. So it turned out to be a great day. I just hoped that didn't come back to bite me in the legs the next morning.

Buttacavoli: From the Italian, Destroyers of Running.

On to the Tri.

Portage Lakes Pre race

Pre Race:
The 5:30 am alarm came far to quickly. I gathered all my stuff, loaded the bike up, filled my bottles and made an english muffin for myself and was out the door a little after 6. I got to the park a bit before 6:30 and it was already starting to get pretty crowded. I got checked in and body marked, figured out where my partner in crime Bryce was and then got my transition all set up, squeezed into my wetsuit and headed down to the beach to await our wave start.

Thats me in the yellow cap and Lisa telling me how to not blow the race from the start.

The Swim:
There were two other races set to start before the Olympic races so we stood around the beach for about a half hour trying not to let our nerves get to us. Bryce and I had hopped in the water to get the dreaded "cold water seeping into the wetsuit" experience over with and then they finally got to our waves. We had thought we'd be in the same wave, but they announced the first wave would be male 20-29 and everyone registered as Elite. Great now I have to start with all the speed demons, this should be fun. Bryce would start in the next wave. My team mate and swimming partner Lisa was there to give me a quick pep talk before I got in the water. She simply said "Adam, do not go out too fast and do not race those people, just swim like its another Tuesday afternoon." It helped and that's just what I did. Ran into the water at 8:24 am, water was about 72 degrees and outside it was maybe close to 60. Made for a nice swim though, especially with the wetsuit. Heeding Lisa's coaching tips, I did not try and race those people and good thing, because before I knew it they were way out in front. I passed a couple people and was passed by way more. I could have helped my time a bit by doing a better job of sighting on the first loop and not drifting out of line a bit but all in all I was pretty much on the pace I anticipated. I was quite happy to see those yellow exit buoys on the second loop though. 1500m (.93mile) Swim Time: 34:14.

Hello land, I've missed you.

The Bike:
I felt good coming out of the water, unlike my first race of the year, when I felt like I was dying after just a 400m swim. This pleased me. My transition was a bit slower than I'd like, but peeling a wetsuit off is just not that quick of a task. 3 minutes later I was on the bike heading out of the park. I did see Bryce running down the aisle to his bike just as I was headed out, this turned into a theme for the remainder of the race.

Wetsuit off, helmet on, off I go.

Bryce and I had rode the course a couple of times, so I knew the pain that was ahead of me. This was almost nothing but hills, with at least 5 true grinding climbs, 4 of which we had to do twice due to the looped course. I made up some time and passed a number of people some in my race and some who were on the tail end of the Sprint race. I got passed up by a few faster riders from the later waves but I expected that. Possibly the best part of the ride was when I finally got to eat one of the Uncrustables I snagged from the previous day's event at the start of the second loop of the course. It was delicious. I gave one to Bryce too, but he ate it before the race even began, amateur. About 20ish miles in my lower back really started to tighten up, I tried to stretch it out a bit but didn't seem to help much. I was just thankful to be almost off the bike and that it didn't happen earlier.

Actually I lied earlier, the best part of the bike was when I was climbing the last hill I was talking to another racer about how much we were over these hills. I told him that I thought there was only one more after this one. I was wrong, and that was the last climb. From there it was a flat to downhill 2 miles back to the park and into transition, I was never happier to be wrong. And with that I was back into transition racking my bike and pulling on the trusty ol running shoes. 40k (25mile) Bike: 1:22:52.

I'm surprised the camera was even able to catch such a burst of lightning.

The Run:
I need to work on transitioning. I spend too much time, but I'll get there. 1:46 minutes after parking the bike I was out for the run, the last stage of the race. I knew it was a different course than previous years, but I really had no idea what to expect. Erin was waiting for me as I turned on to the run course. It was really great to see her there cheering me on. I had saw her briefly after coming out of the water and she was across the fence when I transitioned onto the bike, but this time it was just the little bit of extra motivation I needed before the final leg. Again I saw Bryce coming in as I was going out. Theme continues.

This is what happens when you've been racing for 2 hours and you see your smiling wife. Fabulousness.

My back was still pretty tight from the bike, again I tried to stretch it out but nothing really helped. It basically stayed that way the remainder of the race.

The run essentially started with a steady up hill for the first 1 1/4 miles or so, it was unpleasant. And It was a double loop course, so we would meet again. After that it jumped onto the trail, I wasn't really prepared for that, I'm definitely more of a road runner than a trail runner but it was a nice change, although you really had to pay attention so you didn't bite it on a large root. Or on one of the wood bridges I had to jump on and off of, or the little mud pool that you needed to leap over. All in all it was pretty fun. While making the loop back I saw Bryce on the other side and he yelled out at me "Hey, thanks for the warning on the trail running", I gave him a thumbs down and set off to finish the second loop.

While on the trails I spotted someone ahead of me. I always do that in races, they're my person to beat. I managed to catch up to him coming out of the trails and he appeared to be onto my strategy. I didn't think I'd get him but he ended up pulling up and having a bit of dry-heave setbacks just before the finish stretch. After he came up to me and said "I was trying to keep you behind me, but I just had nothing left", I asked if he was alright and we shook hands and congratulated each other on a great race. That's the best thing about this sport. 10k (6.2mile) Run: 55:12.

Bryce and I all finished up!

When I crossed the line and got my medal and water, Erin was waiting right next to the fence with the biggest smile on her face. I could tell she was proud and that made me forget all about the soreness starting to creep into my body. About 30 seconds later Bryce crossed the line too. We did it. The race was over and we we're pretty sure we both finished under our goal time of 3 hours. Bryce beat me by 20 seconds in the overall time, this is why I need faster transitions. Final race time 2:57:23.

Adam minus energy...

I'm so thankful for all the support from everyone through out the season. My teammates from Vertical Runner; specifically Lisa, John, Jim, Sarah, Chantell, Dave and Becky for the inspiration and drive to keep at it. The goal is to finish an Ironman 70.3 with some of these fine folks next year! Bryce, for being a great new friend this year and a pretty good training buddy, I may be a bit bitter since it's the first time I haven't beat him, lol. I hope we keep this train rolling and see what we'll conquer next.

But most importantly, my amazing wife for putting up with the hours upon hours of training I had to put in to do this. Never once did she complain and was always one of the most encouraging voices in my corner. I couldn't be more lucky to have her by my side. I can only imagine how blessed our kid will be to have a mom like her. There is nothing that they won't believe they can accomplish with Erin as their mom.

I guess thats it, a great end to the Tri season. Back at it next year. Thanks for taking time to read this novel everyone.

Oh ya, I have a marathon to run in less than two weeks... Yikes.

Love Wins,
Adam

A Calm before the Storm?

If the saying "there's always a calm before the storm" were to apply to our adoption plans then I guess that's maybe what you could call this week. However if this is the calm we are in for one crazy ride ahead.

Yesterday morning we had our final visit with our social worker to wrap up our home-study. We should receive the final copy of it by the end of the week. It seems kind of surreal that we're actually done with the administrative part, or at least for the most part, of the process and the next step is actually applying to birth-mothers to be matched and get our baby. We've been looking forward to this point for so long now it seems almost surreal that we're actually just about here. It's so exciting to know that finally these situations we get emailed about weekly we'll actually be able to apply for. Its also really weird to think that our child may very well already be growing as I sit here and type out this post. Surreal is really the only word that can be used to describe this process.

We still have a couple things left to do on our end before we can start the matching process. We have been a little slack on assembling our parent profile but we will crank that out this week too. And we still have to secure our loan for the remaining balance for the adoption, however we can't do that until we have a completed home-study. So that's another thing to figure out this week. Then there's just one other small thing this week, the triathlon. See what I mean about if this is the calm, I'm not sure if I want to see the storm?

I'm anticipating a good race, so far the weather looks pretty favorable and I'm as trained up as I can be so there's really nothing more that I can do on my part for the race. Frankly, I'm super happy to get a break on the Akron Marathon training and get in some good swim, bike, run time and not have to put in another 20 mile run, but that's a different story for another time.

The fundraising has been even better than we could have ever imagined. When we finally decided to actually put ourselves out there and ask for help we really didn't expect such generous donations. No amount is too small, we are just as thankful for the $5 ones as we are for larger gifts. It's all just helping us achieve our dream of having our own family. For that there is no thank you enough. So far we've received over $800! We are so thankful for every penny, it's more helpful than any of you could ever imagine.

I believe that's it for now. Thanks for all of your support thus far in our journey. We will probably need it more than ever in the next few weeks as we really crank into this thing. Anyone wanting to cheer me on in the Tri, or at the very least watch me suffer a bit, feel free to come out to the Portage Lakes State park off 93 sunday morning. I think the park road closes around 7 so get there by then to make sure you get a spot to watch! Erin will be there with a small wife contingent cheering us on, come keep her company!

Thanks again everyone!

Love wins,
Adam & Erin
www.youcaring.com/buttacavoli